In a recent discussion during a meeting with some senior leaders there was immense frustration and confusion. On one hand, they were all working hard to create a very critical document that would benefit the whole organization. On the other hand, there was intense disagreement on the best content. The cacophony of the voices became palpable, and it became clear that the leaders were not listening to understand. As I watched their faces and their hand gestures, I knew a resolution was nowhere in sight.

If we had a referee there, they most certainly would have stepped in and called a “Time Out”. It was obvious to me that there were deeper issues at play that had nothing to do with the document or task at hand. This team of leaders was not interacting with each other but rather just shouting out individual perspectives. They were missing the key to any high performing team- trust.

Here are five trustworthy actions embraced by strong leaders:

1. Listen To Understand

One of the most important skills for leaders who want to be trustworthy is to develop their ability to truly hear what their team members are saying. How many times have you heard someone share information that has already been covered? This sometimes happens when people aren’t tuned in to actively listening. When we listen we need to just hear the words and process what they mean. Leave judgement and analysis on the back burner initially.

2. Honor Different Perspectives

We build our trustworthiness by staying open to ideas and suggestions that are different from our own. For some leaders it can be difficult to remain respectful when they disagree. We just need to remember that sometimes these ideas that seem uncomfortable at first, may actually turn out to be the best solutions. Some tips to honor alternative opinions are:

• Allow yourself to be curious.
• Ask respectful questions to delve deeper.
• Validate and support team members sharing their thoughts.
• Keep calm and don’t let the discussion escalate into unhealthy conflict.

3. Cultivate Meaningful Relationships

If we want our colleagues and bosses to hear our points, leaders must establish trustworthy relationships. If we don’t trust the people we collaborate with, we cannot work as a team. So how do leaders build meaningful relationships? They follow through on what they say they will do. They get to know what excites their team members. They show compassion and empathy. They show up for others.

4. Look For Commonalities

The sweet spot for strong leaders to develop trust is to find solutions that may work for everyone. It is a leader’s responsibility to bring alternative choices to a mutually acceptable decision. This can be tricky if team members see the problem differently or there are many loud and opinionated voices at the table. What has worked for many of the leadership teams I partner with is:

• Be crystal clear on the actual problem.
• Let each team member share their perspective and be heard.
• List all the possible solutions and try to find overlap.
• Decide on a solution that incorporates many of the ideas presented so team members feel buy-in.

5. Show Appreciation and Gratitude

At the end of the day a leader will be considered trustworthy if they are able to cultivate camaraderie and inclusion. Our colleagues want to be part of a decision and we need to show them respect and gratitude for their contributions. We may not be able to settle on their exact suggestions, but we need to make sure we recognize their commitment to the team’s final choice of direction.

What additional trustworthy actions have you taken as a leader?