Giving Feedback to Someone Who Hasn’t Had It in Years

If you work with someone who’s gone too long without feedback and want to help them grow, you’ll need to take an empathetic approach to the conversation. Start by asking questions to clarify their motives. If a leader is constantly forcing their ideas on others, for example, you might start with a question like, “How were you hoping the team would respond to your idea?” Once you are aware of your colleague’s intentions, you need to separate them from their actions in order to have a productive discussion. Acknowledge their original intent, but follow up by stating the negative impact their action actually had on you. Pointing out the gap between what they meant to do and what happened, will help them recognize patterns of unwanted behaviors. Remember that the feedback will be hard to hear — so give them space to feel upset, remind them you are telling them to help them grow, and encourage them to focus on the future.