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Member-only story
I Got Called a Fa**ot on a Public Bus. That’s Why We Must Never Shut Up.
As long as we refuse to be silent, they cannot erase us
It was an ordinary morning. I was on my usual commute to work — the same bus, the same route, the same time, just as it had been for the past couple of years. I sat in my usual place, earbuds in, shutting out the world with the hypnotic rhythms of liquid drum’n’bass as I scrolled through my Medium feed on my phone.
Nothing seemed out of the ordinary — until I noticed two young men approaching. One had a concerned look on his face, while the other was preoccupied with something on his phone. The first man, the one with the concerned expression, started speaking.
I took out an earbud. “Beg your pardon?”
“Why can’t you keep your bullshit at home?” he snapped. “Why do you have to show off that you’re a f****t? There are children here!”
For a moment, I just stared at him, irritation rising like a slow burn. “The f**k do you care?” I shot back, already bracing for the worst — a physical altercation. My heart pounded, but more than fear, I felt anger.
“Keep your perversions in the bedroom, freak!” he spat as the bus came to a stop. Much to my relief, he stepped off, dragging the other man with him.
And that’s when I realized — he had been filming our entire conversation.
I understand that my appearance may not fit whatever expectations people have for women — or for men, for that matter. But what truly unsettles me is how eager people are to let me know what they think of me, even when our interaction is nothing more than a passing glance. It’s as if my existence alone is an invitation for their judgment.
Of course, none of this is unique to me. This is the reality faced by countless transgender people like me.
And it’s not just us — anyone who is visibly queer risks this kind of treatment. A gay couple holding hands in public, a butch lesbian with a short haircut, a nonbinary person daring to exist outside the gender binary — anyone who deviates from the so-called “norm” is a target.
And yet, this is still only the tip of the iceberg. We are bombarded with hateful…
