If receiving a compliment makes you uncomfortable, you aren’t alone. Around 70% of people in a survey associated feelings of embarrassment and discomfort with praise. Why do we feel this way?
- It starts with surprise. Our body’s physiological responses to an unexpected event follow a predictable pattern. We momentarily freeze, try to find an explanation for what is happening, shift our perspective, and share our experience with others.
- Often, it is hard to reconcile others’ positive views of us with our own negative views of ourselves. This interplay of surprise and self-image can make it harder to process the nice things we hear about ourselves.
- While it’s hard to change our conditioned responses overnight, here are three ways to help transform our relationship with praise: 1) Know it’s about the giver, not you (the receiver) 2) Reframe vulnerability as openness 3) Recognize your learned behaviors.
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You’re heading back to your desk after grabbing some coffee when your boss walks by and compliments your work on a project. “Great job on that report,” she says. “I especially liked the way you formatted those graphs. They’re so easy to understand,” she adds.
