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Mid-life ushers in a desire for us to delve more deeply into the life that lies before us, asking ourselves what we want to create that we have not thus far. This is so because there is more pages behind us than before us in our personal narrative.
If you are an elder reading this, ask yourself what you have learned that you are willing to share with the people you encounter. It need not be in a formal way, but in casual conversation. Consider the family legends that get passed down from generation to generation in the form of storytelling. Imagine writing or recording these tales so that they outlive you and your descendants can benefit from your memories. If you are a younger person, don’t miss the opportunity to interview your elders with questions about what it was like when they were your age, what dreams they had for their lives, and what they hope will outlive them.
Qualities of wise elders:
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Self-actualization.
- Contemplation of what has passed and what may yet await.
- A willingness to be present in the moment.
- Commitment to the next generations .
- Asking ourselves what we have learned in our years on the planet and how we can offer it as a gift to the world.
- Sharing lessons without necessarily preaching.
Psychologist Karen Carnabucci describes wise elders in this manner: “A wise elder accepts being old, accepts being an elder. In our society we generally don’t like this idea of being old. We love it when people think we’re younger than we really are. We do our best to look as young as possible. So, I would say the first thing is simply accepting this place in life, that indeed we are older, and we have something to share out of life experience, and it’s something thoughtful. Wise elders honor the learning that they have earned, and they consider how to apply their learning in today’s world. They also respect the ideas of youth, younger people who are naturally full of enthusiasm and possibilities. This means that the mentoring of younger people is infused with respect and understanding of their developmental role.”
One wise elder who has since passed, (2014 at the age of 89), was motivated to explore his fear of death. From that calling, Rabbi Zalman Schacter-Shalomi penned a book called From Aging to Sage-ing- A Revolutionary Approach to Growing Older. Reb Zalman accumulated wisdom from spiritual and secular sources as well as from numerous faith traditions. He taught with joy and an ineffable connection to Spirit.
Reb Zalman shared: “Elders serve as conduits between the divine realm and the mundane world, making the abstract truths of spirituality accessible to the community by embodying them in their everyday behavior.”
From the faith tradition of Buddhism comes the wisdom of His Holiness the Dalai Lama. He is the 89-year-old spiritual leader of the Tibetan government in exile. He fled his home country in 1959 in fear for his life and now lives in Dharmsala, India. The Dalai Lama travels around the world offering teachings on various topics including compassion, peace, harmony, and love. Like Reb Zalman, he engages in playfulness as a way of connecting with those he meets. He has stated: “It is very important to generate a good attitude, a good heart, as much as possible. From this, happiness in both the short term and the long term for both yourself and others will come.”
Psychotherapist, educator, interfaith minister and writer, Dr. Yvonne Kaye is a 90-year-old font of wisdom. She spent the early years of her life as a ‘child of war,’ in London and now calls herself, ‘living history.’ Her website is literally called Yvonne Kaye Wisdom as she shares the joys and challenges of living in eight different decades.
This woman, who calls herself a ‘Queenager,’ says that she is not aging. Instead, she is ‘ripening, weathering and marinating.’ “Laughter is the miracle healer,” is one of her mottos.
Do you find it fascinating that all three of these spiritual teachers value humor as a healing balm in the midst of life’s pains and pleasures?
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