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Opinion

Being a Female Comic in Louis C.K.’s World

Credit...Christian Hansen for The New York Times

I saw Louis C.K. this spring, when I was performing at the Upright Citizens Brigade theater in New York City. He was working out his “Saturday Night Live” monologue and he was funny. We exchanged cordial hellos backstage and I remember thinking, “I hope it’s a misunderstanding, I hope you’re not that guy people say you are.”

Standup comedy is hard on its women. I started in 1987 in San Francisco. Since then, I’ve worked mostly with male comics, for male club owners. I’ve wiggled out of thousands of uncomfortable hugs and let my cheek catch a kiss meant for my lips. I don’t have a story about misconduct by Louis C.K. like the ones that five women recently told reporters (which he admitted are true), and no one has masturbated in front of me, at least not without my consent. But I’d say almost every female comic could name a comedy club she can’t walk into, a booker she can’t email or an agent she can’t pursue because of the presence of a problematic guy. We are all avoiding someone who could help us make money.

Female comics do a lot of calculating, finding alternate routes to a career.

“I just won’t try to get a spot at that club tonight — he’s there.”

“I just won’t perform at that club ever — he runs it.”

“I just won’t get on that TV show — he books it.”

For me, all of those “I just won’ts” now look like a lifetime of “I didn’ts.” So many missed opportunities. The truth is, if you are a woman in most professions, there are a bunch of extra rungs on your ladder to success.

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Laurie KilmartinCredit...Seeso

My workplace, a comedy club, is unlike any other. A group of strangers is brought to me. They sit at my feet and listen as I talk. All the things I say were made up, by me. If you are skeptical that I can make you laugh, I will find you, and I will get you.

If I am interrupted at my workplace (almost always by a man), I am encouraged to insult him, on the spot. I can mock his clothing and speculate on his abilities in the bedroom. I can tell his girlfriend that she can do better. I can smack him down, like an insect. Instead of losing my job, like the woman who flipped off President Trump, I get applauded. Cheered. Even better, if this man persists in interrupting me, I can signal to a bouncer and have him kicked out.

Yes. I can have a rude man removed from my workplace. I wonder if Hope Hicks, the White House communications director, might want to have that power. Wouldn’t any woman?

But the moment a female comic steps offstage, her power dissipates. She is a woman, again. A famous comic can masturbate in front of her and his powerful manager can tell her to stop complaining about it. In standup comedy, the contrast between those two states is so depressingly clear. We get to be the person onstage who we wish were offstage.

There’s a Hulu documentary called “Too Funny to Fail,” about Dana Carvey’s sketch show on ABC. Louis C.K. was the head writer, the guy who presumably did the hiring. When I started watching it, of course I noticed that all the writers on the show were men. And they are all great — not a dud in the bunch. But were there a couple of great female writers who didn’t even try to get a job on that show because they’d heard weird stuff about the guy who did the hiring? Are those women still in the business?

I wonder if there’s a parallel universe where I was born male and became a comic. Am I rich in that universe? Do I headline stadiums? Is my wife taking care of my son so that I can focus exclusively on my career? Am I better at networking with men because I’m not worried about sending the wrong message? Do I hang out after my show and have drinks because I know that will help me get work?

All new comics need the same thing: huge amounts of stage time. There are no shortcuts in standup comedy. The quest to become a good comedian is brutal. It takes at least 10 years of performing, almost every night. You get that performing time in at open mics, where you have to line up during the day for a spot that night, at open mics that run until 1 or 2 a.m., at shows where you have to talk two, or 10, friends into coming just so that you can have a chance to perform.

Both male and female comics have to do these things. But if you also have to maneuver around a problematic guy, you’ll miss some opportunities. If you perform 10 times a week and your male counterpart performs 12 times a week, he will get better faster. And because you won’t get paid work until you’re good, your quest will take longer.

Often when I am part of a predominantly male lineup, I will watch the women in the crowd. After the third or fourth man in a row, some of them look tired. I see them thinking, “Another one?”

When a female comic takes the stage on such a night, there is often palpable joy from the women in the audience. For a few minutes, they don’t have to look at the world through male eyes. It’s a relief, an end to dude fatigue. I have never understood why male comics put up with all-male or mostly male lineups, why they aren’t demanding to follow a female comic. The audience will be so much more excited about you if you’re not the sixth man in a row.

After the allegations about Louis C.K. were made public on the record, a friend texted me the names of two more famous male standup comics who she heard are “next.” It is so strange to see sexual harassment being taken seriously, at long last. It has made me examine my own life, 30 years of swimming under, over and around sharks. What could I have accomplished if I’d been able to put that energy elsewhere?

I don’t know how men are going to change themselves. I do know that putting more women onstage, on writing staffs and on camera is a great way to change comedy.

Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) is a comedian, staff writer for “Conan” and the author of the forthcoming book “Dead People Suck.”

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A version of this article appears in print on  , Section SR, Page 4 of the New York edition with the headline: Being a Female Comic in Louis C.K.’s World. Order Reprints | Today’s Paper | Subscribe

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