I'm like 99% sure that Halloween is every "Basic Bitch's" favorite holiday. But allow me to tell you 10 reasons why Halloween is the best holiday, and why it is 900 times better than Christmas, contrary to popular belief.
1. Weather
During October, the weather hasn't hit that "so cold I'm only warm when I'm in the shower" type cold, but it's still chilly enough to wear sweaters and scarves.
2. Pumpkin Carving
What other holidays give you an excuse to take a giant knife and CARVE your stress out? When Christmas time rolls around and you want to chop someone's head off, just think about the pumpkin you carved, and how fun that was, and remember that no matter how angry Aunt Jackie makes you, you can't carve into her face. You can, however, carve a pumpkin.
3. COSTUMES!
In the words of Mean Girls, Halloween is the one holiday where girls can dress like sluts and nobody cares. Costumes are the best. Wanna be slutty? Go slutty. Wanna wear a sloth onesie as a costume? Do it. Want to do a punny couples costume? Go. For. It. The world is your oyster, and you can be whatever you want.
4. Candy
Just remember that candy goes on sale on November 1. Also, if you aren't buying the bags with chocolate based candies, you're doing Halloween wrong.
5. Little Kids
Okay, maybe it's just me, but little kids are 100 times cuter when you but them in Buzz Lightyear or Merida costume (Though as a former daycare worker, all I ask is that you make sure your kid's costume comes off easy... accidents aren't fun for anyone involved).
6. An excuse for a non-themed costume party.
I'm a "srat" gal, and all I want is to dress up but not be held down by a theme. Yes, Greece vs Grease is fun, but also LET ME WEAR MY SLOTH ONESIE, THERE ISN'T A THEME WHERE THAT WORKS.
7. Halloween Movies
Halloweentown, Hocus Pocus, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Beetlejuice, Twitches. Let me revel in the glory that is Halloween movies (and when I watch Nightmare Before Christmas in May, please don't judge me).
8. Costume Makeup
Okay but all I really need in life is to be able to do cute little noses and freckles and whiskers and big hair all year round, but unfortunately, some people don't understand how awesome I look as a baby deer with full on Glam Deer Makeup and you can't do that in July without some weird stares. Also, I WANT TO WEAR PURPLE/NAVY/BLACK LIPSTICK. Let a girl live.
9. Capes
Capes and cloaks are Cool As Hell. (Someone remind me to do a whole article listing why wearing capes and cloaks SHOULD STILL BE A THING).
10. Halloween decorations are the bomb
All I want in this lifetime is to keep my faux spiderwebs up all year round, to use orange Christmas lights, and to keep punny Halloween decorations up, is that too much to ask?
Okay... Christmas is better than Halloween in one way:
1. Apple or cinnamon or cranberry or pine tree scented things are WAY NICER than pumpkin or marshmallow scented things.