Unfortunately, masturbation stories aren't always suuuper erotic and sexy. Sometimes, they're cringe and awkward as hell. Here's 11 that'll make sure you never forget to lock your bedroom door again...

1. "My father walked in, and we both screamed."

"I was relatively young. I was in my parents' bathroom playing with one of those play-vet-kit-things (the ones that came with a play-syringe) I thought it was a great idea to shove the play syringe way far into myself. In the midst of me freaking out, wondering how I was going to get this motherfucker out of me, my father walks in. I screamed at the top of my lungs, he did likewise. My father ran out of the room. He never said a word to me about it, and I could not be more grateful for that." [via]

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2. "My dad looked me dead in the eye."

"I was 13. Dad stormed into my room to tell me that he hit two lotto numbers. When he saw me, he looked me dead in the eye and said, 'Come downstairs when you're finished,' with a completely straight face.

"We ate Nutella and peanut butter sandwiches after"

"I went downstairs expecting him to beat me down; instead, he told me about how his father caught him when he was 12. We ate Nutella and peanut butter sandwiches after that." [via]


3. "My grandma asked me to stop watching 'evil women'."

"Mum caught me watching porn and jacking off when I was like 13. Thankfully my back was turned and she didn't see my dick, but she saw the shitty late night TV softcore porn that I was watching. The worst part was next morning when my grandma called me and told me to, 'stop watching those evil women' or else." [via]

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4. "My mum opened the shower curtain when I was mid-orgasm."

"When I was about 14 I would use my shower head to masturbate... I did it every day, every time I showered. One day I was apparently taking too long in the shower and my mother let herself into my bathroom (was not allowed to lock doors), pulled open the shower curtain while I was mid orgasm.

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"The most embarrassing part of this was that I didn't even notice my mother staring at me because my eyes were rolled back from the pleasure. Finally, after I came, I opened my eyes and instantaneously locked eyes with my mother." [via]


5. "My BFF saw me masturbating to Justin Timberlake."

"My best friend walked in on me masturbating to Justin Timberlake when he was on SNL last year... she walked in, and apparently didn't know what I was doing (I was under the blankets). I thought my guilty face said it all so I blurted out, 'I'M MASTURBATING!' She looked me dead in the eye, shrugged, and said, 'let me know when you've finished' then walked out of my room and closed the door. She got me a Justin Timberlake calendar for Christmas." [via]


6. "My brother ratted me out to my parents."

"My brother walked in on me once. And by that I mean he went and found my parents' emergency spare key to my room and barged in demanding his turn with the modem.

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"I spun around, cock in hand, and said, 'Fuck off, I'm having a wank', and my dad shouted up the stairs, 'Leave your brother alone when he's floggin' it'. He never barged in on me again." [via]


7. "I was spread eagle when my sister walked in."

"My extremely religious older sister walked in on me once, I was mortified. I was lying on my back spread eagle under a blanket having a grand old time, and right before I can finish she walks in and is asking a question but when she sees me she actually screams and slams the door. Her boyfriend was in the living room so I'm guessing she told him what happened. I couldn't look at either of them for a while after that but she never came into my room uninvited ever again." [via]


8. "My mum and my friend caught me at the same time."

"When I was 16, my mum caught me masturbating on the family computer. She walked in to let me know that my friend showed up and wanted to play Xbox. So, inadvertently, I was caught by both of them. I had just got my drivers license so my mum just said to my friend, 'he's probably just excited that he got his license...'" [via]

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9. "My roommate just said 'oh' and backed out."

"I'm in the military and had just moved into a dorm. I didn't really know anyone so I was bored in my bedroom. I started drifting off and my thoughts led to sex so I eventually was horny and started rubbing one out. My fingers weren't doing enough so luckily I managed to find my vibrator and started going to town. I was really getting into it. I was about to come when I hear a gasp and an 'oh' and I see my (who I presume to be) roommate standing looking unsure what to do. She mumbles an apology and runs back into the bathroom and into her room. It took us about two weeks to actually talk to each other after that." [via]


10. "It was the night of my grandmother's funeral."

"My dad was always nosy. One night, around 2am, he knocked on my door. My door was locked, and being the type of parent that had a good kid that never got in trouble, he assumed I was up to something.

"I feigned sleep"

"He called my name. I feigned sleep. He comes back with a lockpick, and the door busts open. He said, 'For God sakes, on the night of your grandmother's funeral? Show some damn respect."' [via]


11. "I'd printed out pictures for my solo lady time."

"When I was a younger lass I would print out these naughty pictures so that I could fold them up and keep them as secret material for my solo lady time at night. This is like, at 11 or 12 years old. So yeah. One night I was fondling my lady bits and having a grand ol' time and my mum walks in! Naturally I tried to act like nothing was happening, shrugged it off like I was scratching my very upper thigh... She didn't believe that crap and asked me right away to come have a chat. We sat out in the [garage] for about an hour, side by side, talking about how what I was doing was natural and understandable and it was ok to explore, etc. Mortifying!" [via]


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