Stop.

The statement - we all want to be happy - is ignorant.

If you want to learn how to be happy again, throw out this naive notion. At least you deserve to look at it closely because the assumptions are rarely true.

Part of the human condition is to be conflicted - with various aspects (parts) of our personality. Not necessarily in terms of mental illness, but we're all divided to one degree or another on the inside. This is because we've all had a variety of both positive and negative experiences in life.

As children, we tend to absorb experiences - positive and negative, supportive and destructive. Like a sponge, we take it all in, without any ability to understand that these experiences are not necessarily a reflection upon us. We form our sense of who we are based on the very mixed bag of events we encounter. We often continue as adults, unable to separate what happens to us from who we are.

The result? Mixed personality traits and conflicting personal beliefs. Big ideas about how wonderful life should be, combined with dark ideas how about how awful it is - how awful WE are. Nobody escapes this confusing blend of life experiences.

We end up living as divided souls.

And so - learning how to be happy again should start with the realization that we all have different parts of our personalities.

Like this:

Part of you definitely wants to be happy and believes you should be.

Conflicted Souls and Learning How to be Happy Again

Are you with me? People are complex and conflicted. We want to be happy, but…..there are obstacles within. There's more to the story than we think (or want to admit).

If you're interested in how to be happy again after you've been through the ringer, you should start with the realization that part of you certainly resists happiness. Denying this fact will never heal you.

Acknowledging your darker, more subversive motivations puts you in a position to work with them toward resolution. If you've recently been through hell:

• Divorce

• Custody battle

• Losing a job

• Losing a loved one

• Failing in school, business or any part of life

• Any time of high anxiety or stress

Learning how to be happy again may require you to realize that this awful situation has probably activated your inner resistance to happiness to an all-time high.

All out resistance to happiness can be a good thing if you are aware of what's going on and are willing to acknowledge it, rather than giving up, complaining endlessly or otherwise victimizing yourself.If happiness-resistant, miserable, self-victimizing thoughts and feelings are swirling through your psyche like a tornado...

Acknowledge the Truth and Come to Peace

There are parts of me - aspects of my personality that do not believe I can ever be happy - and they are going wild right now. I accept. I have a resistance to happiness inside me. The hell I've been through has only exacerbated the problem by giving me that much more evidence against happiness. But, at least I can see the truth now!

I can't emphasize enough the importance of acknowledging the parts of you that resist happiness. Being happy consistently will remain forever out of reach as long as you are in denial about your (hidden) reasons for resisting happiness. You can't stop doing something you don't admit you're doing.