Being a leader in any capacity is one of the most vulnerable things you will ever do. Leadership puts you on a proverbial stage and places a giant spotlight on every aspect of who you are.
The spotlight will show the best aspects of your character and work experience and, equally, will put you on display for the world to see your worst parts -- ones you’d ideally like to keep hidden.
As a leader, it doesn’t take long to realize there are going to be people who love you, openly and frequently citing who you are as a difference maker for them. On the flip side, it also doesn’t take much time to understand that, no matter what you do, some people are going to dislike you or take issue with your approach to leading.
Walking that tightrope between the two extremes can be exhausting.
Successful leaders, no matter their level in an organization or the scope and size of their teams, are known for being equally aware of their strengths and weaknesses while making improving their leadership capability an ongoing priority. They are aware they will always have room to grow and get better.
Leaders in an admirable state of continual learning are consistently consuming lists, books and podcasts to unearth some previously missed attribute or action they may have overlooked and can incorporate into their leadership life and propel them to the top of their game. However, the secret to continually growing and improving as a leader isn’t found in a list, book or podcast. There is only one thing a leader needs to get better forever -- to get help.
As a leader, you are surrounded by people every single day, and these people see you at your best and, inevitably, at your worst. Because of this, you are constantly surrounded by people with the information and ability to help make you better.
The problem is that leaders rarely ask for help in a way that is sincere and productive. The insincere and overused phrases of “open-door-policy” and “open-to-feedback” now fall on deaf ears, and it’s beyond time to deploy a different strategy.
As a leader, here’s how you can go about getting help:
Demonstrate vulnerability, tell those around you what aspect you’re working on, and ask for help.
Let’s face it: Showing weakness or being imperfect is tough, but doing so is well received by those around you. If you tell those around you that you are working on a specific aspect of who you are, and you would like their help in doing so, you will inspire them to help you.
We often avoid bringing attention to our shortcomings and instead try to work on them in secret, but this helps no one. Being self-aware and asking for help will develop your leadership and set an example for those around you, spurring them to understand themselves better and improve. It's a win-win.
It’s a continual process -- never one and done.
We’ve all experienced leaders who ask for feedback like clockwork, usually around the time of your performance review discussion. When feedback is addressed in this manner, it tends to come across as obligatory and insincere, so the responses you get as a leader likely aren’t going to help you much.
Instead, consistently and frequently ask how you’re doing on the one specific area you’re working on. This is so important because it will remind your team that you are truly working on it, and it will build the muscle for feedback to be easier and more sincere.
The other reason the approach of continually checking in and asking for input is so powerful. We’ve all had that experience where someone is working on improving some behavior, and they may go months and months without an instance of whatever they’re working on, but then it happens again. When it happens again, it feels as though they never changed at all, except that it had been months. When you ask for feedback consistently, it draws others' attention and helps them recognize that you are getting better. This is both powerful and often overlooked.
Being a leader -- in any capacity -- is hard work. Often, leaders make it more difficult for themselves because they look everywhere for the tools to improve -- everywhere except at the people who surround them. The people around you are the keys to your growth and continued development -- all you have to do is get help.
