Connie Kurtz, a warrior for gay rights, dies at 81

As hand-in-hand LGBT rights pioneers, Connie Kurtz and Ruthie Berman successfully sued and won partner benefits for all New York city employees, created a counseling center to help gay people come out, starred in a 2002 documentary about their true-life love story and were the subjects of a 2013 PBS documentary “Out in America.”

Kurtz, of West Palm Beach, died at her Century Village home on May 27. She was 81.

Diagnosed with a neuroendocrine tumor less than two years ago, Kurtz’s condition quickly worsened in the last two months as it spread to her liver, her wife said.

“She always made things happen and completed it. Everything had a beginning, a middle and an end with Connie,” said Berman, 84, Kurtz’s partner of 44 years and wife of six years. “Whatever idea I had, she followed up and gave it a beginning, a middle and an end.”

Kurtz had a cellphone but never answered it and had zero interest in the internet. She expressed her artistic side through collages, watercolors and handmade quilts. And on the political front, she registered voters, collected and delivered absentee ballots and served as president of the Century Village West Palm Beach Democratic Club. In the kitchen, she was known as the “latke queen.”

Kurtz and Berman were born and raised in Brooklyn. They were neighbors, each married and with children, when they became friends in the ’50s. Their bond transformed into romantic love in 1974 after Kurtz returned from spending four years in Israel with her family. They got divorces, teamed up and were from then on known as “Ruthie and Connie.”

“To say that she is the love of my life is too simple to describe it,” Berman said. There are no such words, “only feelings,” she said.

After 36 years together, the couple legally married in New York on July 26, 2011 — two days after gay marriage became legal in the state.

The couple made history when they sued the New York City Board of Education for domestic partner benefits and won in 1994, securing benefits for all New York City employees. Their victory lap included appearances on “Phil Donahue” and “Geraldo.”

Along the way, the women, both certified counselors, founded The Answer is Loving Counseling Center in West Palm Beach where they worked for two decades.

In 2002, the documentary “Ruthie & Connie: Every Room in the House” captured their coming out story, their devotion and politics.

“We had a marvelous life together,” Berman said. “She was a lot of fun. We had an amazing love, an amazing life and an amazing experience. I’m not crying now, because I love talking about her.”

Kurtz is survived by Berman, sister Sally Goldfarb, daughter Eileen Ben Or, son Moishe Kurtz, 14 grandchildren and 27 great grandchildren.

A memorial service was held May 30 at I.J. Morris at Star of David Cemetery of the Palm Beaches.

Another service will be held at 6 p.m. June 14 in New York City at Congregation Beth Simchat Torah.

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