10 crucial tips for Alzheimer's carers

When someone you love gets Alzheimer’s disease or other forms of dementia everything changes.

It is devastating when your partner no longer recognises you or you receive a call from the corner shop to say your mother is there and can’t find her way home.

According to the Alzheimer’s Society there are 670,000 carers looking after a loved one with dementia and it can be a daunting prospect at first.

One of the most crucial things to understand is that you will have to make changes to maintain the person’s quality of life as well as your own.  Being present in their world, validating and reassuring them, can help ease the situation.

If someone with dementia talks about their mother who is deceased it is better to validate their feelings rather than bring them back to “reality”.

Try to live in their world rather than expecting them to live in yours. Here are some techniques to help you cope:

1. CHANGE THE MOOD

Switching the topic or diverting their attention can change the mood from bad to good.

So if your relative asks or says the same thing over and over again such as: “What time is it?” or “I want to go home” then try moving to a favourite subject or activity.

This technique can help manage many situations.

2. TAKE THE BLAME

This may calm things down if the person believes a situation was not their fault. 

Saying: “I’m sorry I misunderstood you” may allow you to regroup and move to a more positive situation. 

3. MODIFY SURROUNDINGS

People can become agitated, upset or overly focused on something in their environment.

They may become upset because there are too many clothes in the wardrobe or want to use potentially dangerous tools in the garage because they are in plain sight. 

Move distracting or potentially harmful things out of the way. 

4. OFFER SIMPLE CHOICES

Someone with dementia may feel he or she has no control over life. 

If they refuse to do something and become angry, offering simple choices may help calm them and restore control. 

Asking: “Would you like eggs or cereal for breakfast?” may work better than merely giving them a bowl of cornflakes.

5. MAKE IT MEANINGFUL

Participating in mental, physical and social activities helps the person feel a sense of purpose and accomplishment and reduce stress and anxiety, even if it is as simple as answering a trivia question or making a successful trip to the grocers. 

6. MAINTAIN A ROUTINE

Set regular times for daily activities such as bathing. Change routines only when they don’t appear to be working. 

7. KEEP STYLE CONSISTENT

If your father wore smart trousers and a shirt every day, asking him to wear jeans and a T-shirt may confuse him.

8. SIMPLY TASKS

If you need to cut your mother’s food, do it out of sight to help preserve her dignity.

Replace lace-up shoes with slip-ons to help dad complete this task on his own.

 9. USE MORE CONTRAST

Dementia affects all five senses including eyesight.

Dad may not be able to see chicken, potatoes and cauliflower on a white plate.

Consider using a coloured plate.

10. GIVE A LEAD

If mum is unsure what to do with her cutlery, show her by eating with her and picking up your knife and fork so she can follow your lead.

Or put the knife and fork in her hands and guide them to her mouth.

Finally, be patient It may take various attempts and approaches before these techniques become effective.

If at first they don’t work try again in a few minutes, perhaps using a different approach.

Extracted from Confidence To Care (UK edition) by Molly Carpenter (£7.99) published by at-home care company, Home Instead Senior Care which specialises in non-medical care of the elderly, is available amazon.co.uk.

All profits will be designated for donating to organisations and causes that support the elderly. Dementia Awareness Week continues until Saturday. For more information visit alzheimers.org.uk