I was stressed. So stressed that I was getting migraines daily. At times, they were so severe that I would get sick to my stomach or could barely walk. These constant migraines lasted for weeks and went uncured for more than five years.
Reflecting back more than a decade later, I now realize that this was anything but normal, especially for a 14-year-old high school student.
But the stress and migraines did make sense. On top of high school and extracurricular activities, I was holding down a full-time job and barely sleeping. That’s not normal.
I didn’t have the terminology for it at the time, but I was a careeraholic. My sole source of happiness was my work.
The average American adult who is employed full-time works about 45 to 50 hours per week. Are you on the higher end of that range? If so, you’re likely a careeraholic too. But you’re not alone. Careeraholism happens even to the best of us.
When you work as a careeraholic, a surge of serotonin rushes through your body. Your heart pumps a little faster each time your family, friends and colleagues praise your "incredible work ethic," reinforcing your obsession with work. Each time you see the dollar signs on your paycheck, you feel a little happier, even if it’s for a fleeting moment.
The excitement you feel from placing yourself under enormous pressure and nearly impossible deadlines is often just the beginning. While this addiction to work makes sense, especially in America where success is often tied to your job title and salary, it can often go too far.
Careeraholism can be difficult to diagnose at first. It starts at first by having a job you love. It makes sense — you likely sought out a job you loved. But over time, this love of working turns into a compulsion and, often, an addiction.
So, when does loving your job go too far? When does good work ethic turn into careeraholism?
It happens the moment you derive a vast majority of your happiness from work. Finding excuses to work rather than spend time with family and friends? Careeraholism. Work interfering with your relationships with family and friends? Careeraholism. Thinking about work on your days off? Careeraholism.
While it’s totally normal to love your job, it shouldn’t be your sole source of happiness. Your work also shouldn’t invade your personal life. While a work/life blend is possible, your work and life should blend like a beautifully layered and slightly stirred macchiato, not an emulsified frappuccino.
Once you’ve identified careeraholism, it’s important to set up strategies to cope.
To start, find sources of happiness outside your career. Spend time with loved ones, read, hike, watch Netflix or go brunching (my second favorite, only to Starbucks).
It’s totally OK to continue deriving happiness from your career. But you can’t rely on your career as your only source of happiness. You won’t notice the negative consequences of a career-driven life when your job is going great, but if you ever grow to hate your job, you'd be waiting for a train wreck to transpire.
As you strive to find happiness outside your career, also set boundaries. Devote a specific amount of time each night to talking about work, then drop the conversation about work. Turn off email on your phone after 7 p.m., or whatever time works for you. Consider setting aside a day of the week where you don’t work at all. Learn to leave work at work.
Then, this is key, ask your supervisor, colleagues, family, partner, therapist or friends (whoever you trust) to hold you accountable to these boundaries. Having others regularly check in on your progress will help hold you accountable, ensuring you are set up for success.
Soon enough, you'll transform from a careeraholic to a careeraholic in recovery.
