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How Not to Talk About Suicide

There's a right and a wrong way to do it.
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When Logan Paul, a YouTube vlogger with more than 15 million subscribers, posted a video to his channel showing the body of a man who had died by suicide in Japan’s Aokigahara forest, the backlash was swift. Many outraged viewers accused the YouTube star of exploiting a dead body for shock, awe, and more video views.

Paul later apologized with a message on Twitter, where he wrote, “I intended to raise awareness for suicide and suicide prevention...I thought ‘if this video saves just one life, it will be worth it.’” He also took down the offending video and posted another apology on his channel.

Although posting a video of a dead body in the name of suicide prevention and awareness seems like an obvious ethical blunder—not to mention traumatic for the deceased person’s family members and friends—Paul had an army of defenders. Reminiscent of how the creators of the Netflix series 13 Reasons Why defended showing graphic images of the show’s main character Hannah dying by suicide, Paul’s supporters claimed that posting the consequences of a suicide would be a deterrent for those struggling with suicidal thoughts.

As it turns out, the opposite is true.

Posting graphic images or descriptions of how someone has killed themselves can lead to what experts call suicide contagion.

Contagion is the idea that how the media portrays the issue of suicide could lead to suicidal behavior in people, Richard McKeon, PhD, clinical psychologist and chief of the suicide prevention branch at Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) tells SELF. “There is scientific research literature on this that shows that how newspapers, movies, and other things cover suicide can have a measurable impact.”

“If the aim is to bring awareness to suicide prevention, that's very different than bringing awareness to suicide,” John Draper, PhD, executive director of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, tells SELF. Although he hasn’t seen Logan Paul’s video and declined commenting on it directly, Draper says that how the media covers suicide does have a major impact. “Media really influences behavior,” he explains. “If you're actually talking about and showing specific suicides in some ways that are dramatizing, glorifying, or specifically showing people how, then that has been associated with increasing suicide.”

A significant issue, however, is that the media these days isn’t limited to mainstream media outlets; social media influencers like Paul draw a large and loyal following, and the way they talk about suicide matters.

There are actually specific guidelines about how to talk about suicide (and how not to) to prevent the contagion effect. These guidelines, called the Recommendations for Reporting on Suicide are specifically for the media, but they’re a good resource for anyone with a large audience. The Recommendations for Reporting on Suicide are based on more than 50 international studies on suicide contagion, and they include not using sensational headlines, not showcasing photos or videos of the location or method of death, and not interviewing first responders about the cause of death.

It’s also important not to frame suicide as an “epidemic.” “[Epidemic] implies that something is so frequent that one could consider it normal, and that that might, for a vulnerable person, decrease their inhibitions,” McKeon explains. While over 44,000 Americans died by suicide in 2015, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s most recent data, millions more seriously considered dying by suicide but didn’t, according to SAMHSA.

“Obviously, there needs to be attention to suicide because it's the 10th leading cause of death in America,” McKeon says. “But we don't want the dimensions of the tragic losses that we experience from suicide to so overwhelm the message that it blocks out the fact that help is available, that people do get through dark times, that there is hope, that people can get treatment for mental health issues and mental disorders, and that people can recover and can lead a fulfilling life after a suicidal crisis or a suicide attempt.”

It’s also smart to avoid using the term “commit.” McKeon says, adding that this is out of sensitivity to the family members who have survived the loss of a loved one to suicide. “They have pointed out that we use the language of commit around things like committing a crime, committing a sin; and suicide, while a tragedy, should not be considered as a sin or a crime,” he says. “Died by suicide” or “killed himself or herself” are better options.

Emphasizing resources such as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, which is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week at 1-800-273-8255, is also critical for people discussing suicide on a large platform.

There are also established best practices for handling the topic of suicide with the people you’re close to.

Talking to a friend or family member who you think may be having suicidal thoughts can be scary, but it can also help you keep them safe. If you’re not sure where to start, these five steps from BeThe1To.com, a suicide prevention website from the National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention and the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, can help:

1. Ask.

Asking the question “Are you thinking about suicide?” lets them know that you’re open to speaking about suicide with compassion and without judgment. You can also ask how you can help them. The flip side, the website notes, is that you also need to listen to their answers, even if they’re upsetting or hard for you to understand. Also, don’t promise to keep their suicidal thoughts a secret, because your telling other people may be what they need to get help.

2. Keep them safe.

If after the “Ask” step you’ve determined that they are thinking about suicide, it’s important to find out a few things to establish immediate safety. You should determine whether they’ve already done anything to harm themselves before talking with you; if they know how they would try to kill themselves with a specific, detailed plan; what the timing of their plan is; and whether they have access to the tools they would need to see it through. Depending on their answers, you may need to call the police or take the person in question to the emergency room. You can always call the Lifeline if you’re not sure what to do (again, that number is 1-800-273-8255).

3. Be there.

Maybe this means going over to their place when they’re feeling upset, or staying on the phone with them while they prepare to call a hotline. You shouldn’t verbally commit to being there in any way that you don’t think you’ll actually be able to accomplish, the guidelines note—dependability is really key.

4. Help them connect.

Calling the lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 is one way to help a person with suicidal ideation connect to someone who can help them. Another is to create a more robust safety plan with a list of contact information for mental health resources in their community, along with exploring the possibility of them seeing a therapist if they’re not already.

5. Follow up.

Doing all of the above means you’ve taken meaningful steps to help someone experiencing suicidal thoughts. After that, make sure to follow up with them, express that you care, and ask if there’s anything else you can do to help. This shows that they’re important to you, and that you’re there to support them with an extremely common issue that, unfortunately, is still subject to far too much stigma and misunderstanding.

If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255.

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