Why pandan leaves are the latest ‘new avocado’

Name: Pandan leaves.

Age: Simultaneously ancient and new.

Appearance: Long, green blades.

I have never heard of pandan leaves. Get used to them. They are, I have been reliably informed, the new avocado.

Oh, I see, hipster food. More of a hipster flavouring, if we’re striving for accuracy. They are, I have been reliably informed, the new matcha.

Well, which one is it? The new avocado or the new matcha? Neither and both. They have been used in east Asian cooking for centuries and now they have made it to the UK. They are, I have been reliably informed, the new vanilla.

I’m begging you, just tell me what the flipping things are. They’re leaves that are used to give rice dishes and desserts a subtle vanilla flavour. That’s all they are.

And why are we suddenly talking about them? Because Nigella Lawson has been talking about them. “I think it’s going to be the new matcha,” she said.

And avocados? Remember that time Nigella declared herself a fan of avocado on toast? Sales flew up by 30%. Brace yourself for a similar explosion.

This is all well and good, but what do you actually do with them? Restaurants are starting to put them in pancakes and ice-cream, but a good start for the home cook is to steep them in coconut milk and then whip that up into a nice custard.

So it’s a fancy custard favouring? No, listen, I’ve just Googled “pandan health benefits” and apparently the leaves also heal sunburn, repel insects, reduce stress, blacken hair and treat premature ejaculation. I’m not making this up.

Then sign me up for a truckload! Not so fast. No major UK supermarket stocks pandan leaves yet, but you can get them online. A 200g bunch of fresh leaves will set you back about £7, including postage.

That seems a lot. Fine then, keep attracting insects, sunburn boy.

I want to be at the vanguard of the new culinary revolution. Good. Soon you won’t be able to move for pandan leaves, and it’s important that you can say you liked them first.

I liked avocados first. Yuck! Avocados are yesterday’s news. Hey, everyone, get a load of this avocado-liking fuddy-duddy over here!

Do say: “Nigella has caused pandan-monium!”

Don’t say: Any more pandan puns, please.