Sex & Relationships

These three little words are a big turn-on (Hint: It’s not ‘I love you’)

Neck kisses, nibbling and eye contact — new research reveals America’s 20 biggest turn-ons.

The new survey of 2,000 Americans saw kisses on the neck voted as officially the biggest turn-on, followed by your partner saying just three little words.

According to the findings, a partner simply saying the words “I like that” in bed ranked the second most-appealing way to ramp up the mood.

The study, conducted by sex toy retailer EdenFantasys.com, sought to uncover Americans’ biggest turn-ons and turn-offs and found that 76 percent of respondents like their partner giving them a little verbal reassurance in bed.

Man kissing woman's neck in bed.
Shutterstock

A little nibbling on the ear was another high scorer on the turn-ons list, while eye contact during sex was something that really got many a respondent going.

Another saucy 46 percent of Americans say the presence of sex toys in bed is a total turn-on.

The survey also split the results of the list by gender, which is where it gets really fascinating.

For instance, it appears men get a lot more out of going down on their partner than women, with 76 percent of men reporting that going down on their partner is a turn-on for them compared to only 56 percent of women.

In fact, nearly one in four (23 percent) of women reported that going down on their partner was a turn-off for them.

Anal sex was another polarizing act — very polarizing. Over half of men (52 percent) called it a turn-on, compared to 19 percent of women. An incredible 57 percent of women actually consider it a complete turn-off.

Being teased during sex was one thing women did like, however, and interestingly enough, it was the only thing that women said they liked more than men, with 52 percent of women calling it a turn-on compared to 49 percent of men.

But who said being turned on has to be a sexual act? The survey found a bevy of inherently non-sexual things that are turn-ons.

For instance, just smelling good was voted as the biggest non-sexual turn on, with 69 percent of the respondents labeling it as such.

Simply being affectionate was the second biggest (64 percent) and making somebody feel appreciated rounded out the top three with 61 percent listing it as a turn on.

“The study showed that non-physical affections are the biggest turn-ons for everyone,” said Fred Petrenko of EdenFantasys.com. “‘All we need is love’ is as true today as it’s always been.”

The survey also pinpointed 37 as the age when Americans are at their kinkiest overall.

Being turned on isn’t such a rarity, either, with Americans saying they’re noticeably turned on three times every day, with one in five (19 percent) saying it’s actually more times than that.

And it’s not necessarily in the evening when we feel this way, with the average American saying they’re most likely to be turned on at 2:46 p.m. As The Starland Vocal Band once famously sang: “Skyrockets in flight…”

“Not surprisingly, sex toys are one of the major turn-ons for many couples,” continued Petrenko. “We encourage people to experiment more in the bedroom for a happier and sexier life.”

America’s 20 biggest turn-ons

  • Neck kisses
  • My partner telling me “I like that”
  • My partner undressing me
  • My partner going down on me
  • Undressing my partner
  • Nibbling my ear
  • Lingerie
  • Eye contact during sex
  • Going down on my partner
  • Being teased
  • Sex toys
  • Dirty talk in English
  • Partner doing a striptease
  • Being dominated
  • Partner being rough
  • My partner spanking me
  • My partner pulling my hair
  • Biting
  • Having to be quiet and sneaky (“don’t wake the roommate,” etc.)
  • Role-playing

America’s 20 biggest turn-offs

  • Poor hygiene
  • Being mean
  • Being rude to waitstaff
  • Eating with mouth open
  • Being flirty with other people
  • Talking about exes
  • Being cocky
  • Talking too much/not listening
  • Dressing poorly
  • Baby talk
  • Insecurity
  • Long fingernails
  • Wearing too much cologne/perfume
  • Being cheap
  • Lack of confidence
  • Body hair
  • Being too “handsy” in public
  • Bad driver
  • Poor taste in shoes
  • Calling me pet names in public

Top 5 turn-ons in bed for men

  1. My partner telling me “I like that”: 78 percent
  2. My partner going down on me: 78 percent
  3. Undressing my partner: 78 percent
  4. Going down on my partner: 76 percent
  5. Neck kisses: 76 percent

Top 5 turn-ons in bed for women

  1. Neck kisses: 82 percent
  2. My partner telling me “I like that”: 74 percent
  3. My partner undressing me: 68 percent
  4. My partner going down on me: 67 percent
  5. Undressing my partner: 63 percent

Top 10 non-sexual turn-ons

  1. Smelling good: 69 percent
  2. Being affectionate: 64 percent
  3. Making me feel appreciated: 61 percent
  4. Dressing nice: 46 percent
  5. Intelligence: 45 percent
  6. Confidence: 43 percent
  7. Generosity: 39 percent
  8. Active listening: 39 percent
  9. Playing with my hair: 34 percent
  10. Being taller than me: 28 percent