4:30 A.M. First wakeup, due to anxiety.
5:30 A.M. Second wakeup, more anxiety.
7 A.M. Final wakeup, due to alarm clock.
7:12 A.M. Double check to make sure you haven’t been expunged from voter registry.
7:30 A.M. Quick breakfast: oatmeal, coffee, vague dread.
8 A.M. Leave for work.
8:03 A.M. Turn around, grab two more forms of I.D., just in case. Leave for work again.
8:30 A.M. Remember to breathe.
9 A.M. Arrive at work.
9:17 A.M. Notice everyone wearing their “I VOTED” stickers, feel hopeful.
9:18 A.M. Feel sheepish for not having a sticker due to plan to vote after work.
10 A.M. Another check to make sure you haven’t been expunged from voter registry.
10:30 A.M. Head out for first lunch.
10:45 A.M. Stress eat.
12 P.M. Check the polls, remember it’s only noon.
1 P.M. Head out for second lunch.
1:05 P.M. Quick last-minute canvassing on walk back.
1:15 P.M. Stress eat.
1:45 to 4:45 P.M. Silent panic about the future of minorities, immigrants, and women.
5 P.M. Leave work.
5:03 P.M. Turn around, grab pay stub, just in case. Leave work again.
5:45 P.M. Final registration-status check.
6 P.M. VOTE!!!
6:30 P.M. Take a few laps around the block to insure adequate public viewing of “I VOTED” sticker.
7 P.M. Eat half a box of Cheez-Its on the couch while waiting for results to roll in.
7:15 P.M. Smoke a bowl to calm nerves.
7:18 P.M. Uh-oh! Ride out mild panic attack caused by the weed and the thought of impending totalitarianism.
7:30 P.M. Finish the rest of the box of Cheez-Its.
8 P.M. Do some laundry to distract self.
8:07 P.M. Obviously that didn’t work. Back in front of the TV.
9:30 P.M. Think about worst-case scenario for the future, tear up.
10 P.M. Force self into shower, fight thoughts of how bad tomorrow could be.
10:15 P.M. Hold on to hope.
10:30 P.M. Hold on to hope.
11 P.M. Don’t check the results, rest now.
2:15 A.M. O.K., O.K., check the results.
