During one of our podcasts, we talked about church budgets and church purchases. That conversation led to a Twitter poll where we asked church leaders and members to name some strange purchases made by their churches. The responses were numerous and, yes, really strange.
We could have provided a list of 100 but, for the sake of blog post brevity, the list is only 20 in number. The order is mostly random.
- XL Depends for live sheep for a sermon illustration. I guess if you have large sheep, you have to have large Depends. Question: Did they really need them? Answer: It Depends.
- Squirrel cage for the sanctuary. I need clarity. Was it to catch the squirrel? House the squirrel? A contingency to let the squirrel out in the event the services got too boring?
- Ketchup bottle costumes to demonstrate the need to “catch-up” the budget. First step for helping your budget: Get a refund for the costumes.
- Giant inflatable black cat. I wonder if it was used for the welcome ministry or the music ministry.
- Giant inflatable raccoon. My guess is the church was trying to compete with another church that purchased a giant inflatable black cat.
- Giant inflatable polar bears. Now the Presbyterians are trying to compete with the Baptists.
- Hoes. That’s what the response said. I’m sure there’s a good explanation.
- Animal testicles. I’ll leave this one alone.
- Cow tongue. I’m beginning to feel sorry for the animals.
- Snow blower. Submitted by a church in Tennessee.
- Black dry ice that caused two asthma attacks in the orchestra pit. First, I’m sorry for the asthma attacks. Second, our audience is so informative. I didn’t know black dry ice caused asthmatic attacks.
- Live camels. Of course, every church needs to purchase camels for their annual Christmas production. Be careful with your camel, though. See this video.
- Live donkeys. I like the live camels better.
- Mechanical bull. Now I’m really disappointed. The other churches had live animals.
- Red solo cups to replace the communion cups. Did the church use wine or grape juice? If they used wine, there could have been a problem.
- Coffee maker that cost $2,500 that didn’t fit the cabinets and that no one could learn to use. But once you get it working, you will have a very attentive congregation.
- Confetti cannon. Used at the discretion of the deacons when the pastor made a good point in his sermon.
- Giant Pokemon costume. But of course. How else will you catch ’em all?
- Radar speed gun. You gotta stop those people from running down the aisles.
- A single purchase of tennis balls, pantyhose, super glue, string and toilet plungers. I bet the treasurer had fun with that receipt.
There were so many more good submissions. Let me hear from you. I bet you can add to this list!
This article originally appeared here.
