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Nikki Haley Doubles Down On Civility

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Tis easier to critique than to construct, but to what end?

Such is the message U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley delivered to a group of high school teens from conservative group the High School Leadership Summit, held in Washington D.C.

“I know that it’s fun and that it can feel good, but step back and think about what you’re accomplishing when you do this — are you persuading anyone? Who are you persuading?” Haley asked. “We’ve all been guilty of it at some point or another, but this kind of speech isn’t leadership — it’s the exact opposite.”

Haley bored in on her salient point. “Real leadership is about persuasion, it’s about movement, it’s bringing people around to your point of view,” she added. “Not by shouting them down, but by showing them how it is in their best interest to see things the way you do.”

Unfortunately, Haley’s remarks were lost in what happened next. She was followed by Attorney General Jeff Sessions who gave a rousing campaign-style speech and at one point repeated a line that the students were shouting, “Lock her up.” The chant echoes the 2016 presidential campaign when Trump supporters called for Hillary Clinton to be jailed over her emails. While Sessions did not seem to join the chorus, his smile indicated that he clearly delighted in the moment. Not a good look for the nation’s chief law enforcement officer.

Sadly -- as some pundits have noted -- what Sessions did outshines the media-coverage of Haley’s message. This reflects the fact that insults make news; civility does not. What once was confined to backroom political back-biting (and stabbing) plays out nationally in every corner of our public lives.

Leaders must stand for what they believe in, not so much as what they are against. Yes, you can be elected on a negative message, but you cannot govern effectively by stoking division. Why? Because you simply undermine what Haley defined as leadership –persuasion! You can’t win people to your side using a metaphorical bullhorn to assault them. Equally, you cannot make your case through social media lies, insults and worse.

Haley is speaking to an audience who needs to hear her message because in their young lives they mostly have seen the negative side of public discourse. Students would be wise to learn something about the “110 Rules of Civility.” The teenaged George Washington hand-wrote these rules -- originally published by the Jesuits in 1595 -- and sought to live by throughout his life.

Rule 65 reads: “Speak not injurious Words neither in Jest nor Earnest Scoff at none although they give Occasion.” Rule 110, the final one, reads, “Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience.”

Channeling the spirit of civility, here are three things to do when discussing or debating important issues:

  • Think about what you say before we say it.
  • Respect the person with whom you are speaking.
  • Act to persuade, not to insult.

Ambassador Haley exited with this bit of advice: “If I can leave you with one message today: Have the courage to stand up to the mob.” The challenge for these kids – as well as partisans on all sides – is to avoid being “the mob.”

Think. Respect. Act.

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