We all crave authenticity and real connection with others, but many any of us have this one thing we’d rather not share, and often spend a lot of energy hiding it. It can even paralyze us from taking action.
What if we embraced it and allowed it to be the very thing that lets us to be our true selves AND connect to people on a deeper level? This is not an easy journey, but one that is worthwhile and can transform into a life of meaning and purpose.
Meet Micah McCasland: An artist who has gone down this very road. She graciously shares her wisdom and vulnerability in our interview below. I have enjoyed getting to know her since we met at a Music Biz Besties meet-up in Nashville last summer and I know you’ll relate to her experience!
1. You’ve released 22 songs so far in 2018. Wow! Your goal is to release a song a week for a year. Why did you decide to do this and what have you learned from the experience so far?
My short answer for this has always been “to make up for lost time” 🙂 But really, it all kind of just fell into place.
I was at a major crossroads/unraveling in my life where I was finally starting to deal with my “stuff” and trying to accept who I am as a person. I was in a situation that I hadn’t planned on and feeling down, so I decided that I would be proactive for my mental health and make it a goal to show up everyday- however that looked. To show up to write, every day. And songs just started flowing, and I felt more and more free.
My goal was to write a bad song, which I had always been so scared to do, and then all of the sudden, when my goal was to write bad songs, the songs started getting better and flowing more easily. It became easier to write than not write, because I was finally accepting myself and not trying to hide. I released my expectations of who I “should be”.
And I will say, wrestling with my expectations I had for myself was tough. It was way harder than I would have imagined, because expectations for yourself and your life run DEEP. They essentially become a part of you, so in that process, it felt like I was losing a part of me. And there’s loss and grief. But in that grief, you are able to re-build and create authentically in the way you were always meant to. And that’s what I experienced with this year- Grief made beautiful.
2. The first song you released this year was, “Wolf,” which you wrote after a “giant realization.” Can you discuss that and how your perspective has changed since then?
Yes! The song “Wolf” is so special to me, and really symbolizes and sums up the message of the year of songs! Which is, to me, “Be real and show up for yourself- just for you”. As a person with a visual impairment, it is easy for me to feel alone, it is easy for me to feel isolated because most people in my day-to-day life don’t struggle in the same way, or understand it. But this obviously isn’t limited to a disability. As a human, it is easy to feel incredibly alone no matter the situation.
Be real and show up for yourself- just for you.
But on this particular day, I was really struggling with feeling isolated and like I can’t connect with others. Feeling like I can’t really trust anyone and I’ve never been truly “known” by many people. In the middle of feeling sorry for myself it just hit me, “You can’t trust anyone because you don’t trust yourself. You can’t trust someone else to have your back, because you’ve never had your own back.”
It was never about other people, or my circumstance or disability, it was always me. And in that moment, in that song, I took back so much ownership. I was able to let go more of the things I can’t control, and feel empowered by the things I can. I might not be able to see well, and I might not be understood by everyone, or anyone, but I can understand myself! And I can be there for myself. I can be a safe place for myself. And it’s funny how when you start to be that for yourself, your capacity to love and connect with others multiplies and your relationships get so much sweeter.
3. How has having a visual impairment impacted you as an artist and how have people responded to your openness about it?
It’s funny that you ask that, because for years I was not very open about it, so this is actually all very new for me. It’s not that I ever kept my visual impairment a secret, but I think I somehow viewed it as a weakness to “grow past”.
My life became trying to prove that I was just like everyone else. But that’s like trying to be taller… you can try all day long to change it, but its just not going to happen. I finally realized that my opinions about the situation don’t really matter. It doesn’t change the reality of my story that I am a visually impaired adult and my life is going to look different because of that, and that’s okay.
I spent years trying to run from that story or change it, and that took up all of my energy. For years I just didn’t have the energy to create, because it wasn’t coming out of my authentic self. I spent years hiding who I am, spent years denying my story, spent years terrified of vulnerability… and I guess this year was just a “go big or go home” kind of a thing. I had spent so long hiding, I was just really ready to “put it all out there” and see what happens. To actually show up for once.
For years I just didn’t have the energy to create, because it wasn’t coming out of my authentic self.
And I have to say, people’s response to my visual impairment has been so encouraging. Through the year of songs, and just in everyday life. It’s funny that I always thought it would be a thing that would separate me from others, so I hid it. But it has turned into one of my biggest connectors with other people. And while I don’t like asking for help all of the time, and while it isn’t always fun being different, I feel so lucky that I get to experience the kindness of others in a unique way that sighted people don’t get to experience. Soooo, so far so good!!! 😉
4. I know you’re a big fan of Brené Brown. How has she influenced your approach to creativity?
Brené Brown’s books have influenced my approach to creativity in so many ways! But they have mainly helped me as a person, in general. She talks about the importance of accepting your story, self-love, vulnerability, courage, and how to “get back up” with authenticity and grace.
Brené’s work helped me to find the courage to be me- to accept who I am, and love myself. To walk into those uncomfortable places, without it shaking me as a person. And even more importantly, to recognize that what I had labeled as weakness in myself, was actually where I was most strong. And I think the creative aspect was just an overflow of that self-love and acceptance.
I don’t think you can be truly authentic and not create. I think it is impossible. We are made to create! Click & Tweet! And when you start living life loved, you can’t help but explore that. It just overflows!
5. What advice do you have for artists who are struggling to be vulnerable regarding an obstacle or experience that is a significant part of who they are?
Just dive in. Dive in, and let yourself feel whatever you’re feeling. Let yourself feel overwhelmed, or lonely, or angry, or whatever it is and fully be there. Make art out of those places, and watch how those difficult things turn into something so incredible.
The creative process is all about freely throwing our “mess” into the universe, trusting that it will come back as something beautiful. It is truly magic. Click & Tweet! Expect the hard things, but also expect an insane level of joy that you have never known. Create in your mess and do it for you.
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Thanks for sharing your insight and wisdom, Micah! I know that I’m inspired by your words! Follow Micah on Instagram at @micahmccasland to keep up with her journey and songs!