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How Not to Let Your Phone Ruin Your Vacation

Strategies for traveling without letting your phone keep you from enjoying your trip.

Credit...iStock

Now that summer is in full swing, a lot of people have been asking me the same question: How can you take your phone with you on vacation without letting your phone ruin your vacation?

It’s a modern quandary: Phones are obviously useful tools, especially when you’re on the road. But too often, a quick check turns into an hourlong scroll session. And if you’re going to spend your trip trolling Instagram or responding to emails, what’s the point of leaving home?

It might seem absurd to have to strategize how to set boundaries with your smartphone. But the reward — a vacation that feels like a vacation — is well worth the work. Here are some useful tips on how to use your phone on vacation, without letting it hijack your trip.

Define your goal. Ask yourself — and your companions — what’s the point of the trip? To relax? To experience new things? To spend time together? To escape your routine? In other words, what do you actually want to spend your time doing? (I’m willing to bet that you won’t say “obsessively checking my work email.”) Write down your goal, take a photo of it, and set it as your lock screen image (or use one of these) so that you’re reminded of it when you instinctively reach for your phone.

Identify what you want to use your phone for. To take photos? Navigate? Check in with the office? Knowing what you want to use your phone for makes it easier to catch yourself when you’re using your phone for something that’s not on your list.

Don’t fall for your brain’s tricks. It is likely that your brain is going to concoct all sorts of “reasons” you have to check, or scroll, or post while you’re on vacation. That’s because checking our phones triggers the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that encourages us to repeat behaviors that our brains have judged to be rewarding (it’s no coincidence that dopamine plays a major role in addictions). What’s more, not checking your phone can cause your body to release stress hormones such as cortisol — a double whammy. So whenever you feel yourself reaching for your phone because you “need” to do something, ask yourself whether it’s an actual need — or if it’s an excuse.

Every time you find yourself about to check your phone on vacation, ask yourself: What is the best thing that could be waiting for you? At the very least, checking your phone will distract you. And if you find bad news waiting for you, it can ruin your day.

Remember: when you “check in,” you check out. Mentally and physically, we can’t be two places at once. So every time you turn your attention to your phone, you are turning your attention away from everything else.

Delete your “problem apps”— that is, the ones that often leave you wondering what happened to the last 45 minutes of your life. The most likely culprits are social media, email, dating, games, shopping and the news, all of which offer novelty, unpredictability and the potential for a reward — just like slot machines. (If your phone won’t let you delete them, hide them in a folder off your home screen.)

You can always check these platforms through your phone’s internet browser if you must, and you can reinstall them at any time — but why not use your vacation as a chance to see what life is like without Facebook?

Create a temptation-free home screen. Rearrange your apps so that your home screen contains only practical apps that won’t suck you in (for example, the camera, maps or a translation app). Those are your “tools,” and you can use them freely.

Put your other apps into folders on an interior page to prevent yourself from being tempted by their icons.

Turn off all notifications, except for the ones you actually want to receive while you’re on vacation. (I particularly recommend disabling the news.) Note: those little red circles that pop up on apps’ icons are also notifications, called “badges.” Turn those off, too — including for email.

Reduce FOMO (the fear of missing out) by setting up vacation auto-responses for your email, voice mail and text messages. (To set up an automatic text message response on iPhones, use the customized option for “Do Not Disturb While Driving”; for Android, download a third-party app such as Lilspace.) Update your status on social media accounts so that your friends and followers know that you’re away. Then shed a tear for the fact that this is a cause of anxiety to begin with.

Define “Emergency.” Are you talking about a family crisis back home? Or a problem at the office?

Use “Do Not Disturb” mode to limit incoming calls and texts, and tell people what they need to do to break through:

  • On iPhones: create a list of “Favorites” (for example, the people you’re traveling with, or family members back home) whose texts and calls you want to receive even when your phone is on “Do Not Disturb.” Note that if someone calls you twice within three minutes or texts “urgent” to you, it will break through “Do Not Disturb” — even if they’re not on a list.

  • On Android devices: set your “Priority Notifications” to allow calls and texts only from certain people. You can also enable a feature that will allow calls to come through if the same person calls you twice within 15 minutes.

Go old school. Give people the name, address and telephone number where you will be staying. True, this means that you won’t get the message till you get back to your lodging. But perhaps by then, the situation will have been resolved.

Get over yourself. When people say that they “have” to be constantly checking their phones, I think of a quote by Tina Fey: “It’s a burden, being able to control situations with my hypervigilance, but it’s my lot in life.” In other words, we all have an exaggerated sense of our own importance.

Consider not checking your email at all while you’re away. Honestly, if you’ve set up a good auto-response and have left instructions for your co-workers, what’s the worst that could happen? (If your answer is that you’ll miss a firestorm, then your “worst-case” scenario is actually a best-case scenario.)

If total abstinence sounds too extreme, commit to checking your email only once or twice a day, ideally from an actual computer. To keep yourself on track, put your phone on airplane mode while you’re out — or, better yet, delete your email app entirely, reinstall it when you want to check, and delete it again when you’re done (or delete the email app and check through the clunky browser version instead).

You may also want to install an email management app or extension, such as Inbox Pause (part of Boomerang, it allows you to have your emails batch-delivered at a time and frequency of your choosing) or Inbox When Ready (which hides your inbox, while still allowing you to compose new messages and to search your archives — a great option if you need to write an email but don’t want to get sucked in to answering messages). Also, use time differences to your advantage: You probably do not need to check your inbox when people at home are sleeping.

If there are people whose emails you feel you simply cannot miss — for example, your family or your boss — create V.I.P. lists (you can follow these instructions). Then adjust your notification setting to receive notifications only for messages sent by your V.I.P.s. (On Apple devices, V.I.P. emails will appear in their own separate mailbox. I recommend deleting all of your other mailboxes for the duration of your trip so that you see messages only from your V.I.P.s. You can always reinstall the others later.)

If you’re worried about missing emails from potential clients or anyone else whom you can’t pre-identify as a V.I.P., make sure your auto-response says when they can expect to hear back from you. If you must, you could include your phone number and instruct them to call — but do you really want to be courting new business while you’re on vacation?

If you’re worried about coming back to an overflowing inbox, consider taking the approach of the German automaker Daimler, which offers employees the option of automatically deleting all messages that arrive while they’re away. Senders get an auto-response saying that the recipient is on vacation and that their email will be deleted without being read. The auto-response provides contact information for someone who can help immediately, and says that if the message is important but not urgent, the sender should simply resend their email when the person has returned from vacation. (To do this on your own, write an auto-response and then set up a filter on your email account so that any message sent to your address will automatically be deleted.)

If at all possible, don’t use it. Social media apps are specifically designed to draw us in, which is why I recommend posting a status update saying that you’re away and then deleting the apps for the duration of the trip. This may make you feel anxious, especially if it’s a major work or leisure activity, or you have a large following — but it’s an excellent opportunity for self-reflection. Why do you feel so compelled to share photos of experiences you’re in the middle of having?

When I think about vacations and social media, I’m reminded of that old saying about a tree falling in a forest: If something happens on vacation and you don’t immediately post it to Instagram, did it happen at all? (Answer: Yes. It did.)

Establish phone etiquette guidelines. (This is important even if you’re traveling by yourself.) The great thing about agreeing on a group etiquette ahead of time is that it can prevent conflict on the trip itself. It’s like the Quiet Car on Amtrak: the fact that everyone knows the rules makes it hard to defend yourself if you’re caught breaking them.

For example, you could decide not to allow phones at meals, or to leave phones behind in the hotel lockbox when you go out to dinner, or to not post photos to social media till you’re back from your trip. To prevent mutiny, you can also decide upon a time each day when everyone can use their phones freely — say, the hour before dinner.

Turn it into a game. Feel free to get creative — the point is to make following the rules feel like a friendly competition. For example:

  • For friends/colleagues: The first person to pull their phone out at the table has to cover the tax or tip.

  • For families with small kids: Agree to pay a fine every time your kids catch you breaking the rules — an amount that’s small enough that you’ll actually pay it, but big enough that you’d prefer not to. At the end of the trip, put the money toward an activity — of your children’s choosing — that you all do together.

  • For friends, colleagues or families with older children: Create a pool of money that everyone can compete to win (the buy-in amount can be personalized based on age and allowance). Next, set your exchange rate — for example, a quarter per chip. Every time someone violates the rules, they have to hand over a chip to the person who caught them. (You can hand out actual chips or keep track on paper.) At the end of the trip, everyone cashes in their chips.

Pack a travel alarm clock. If your phone is your alarm clock, you are guaranteeing your phone will be the first thing you touch when you wake up.

Give yourself options. Let’s face it: you’re going to crave your phone. So be sure to pack alternatives for those moments when you find yourself reaching for it. For example: a deck of cards, a game, a book or e-reader, a knitting project, a journal, a sketchpad.

Plan ahead. Download maps ahead of time so that they’re available offline, and take screenshots of information or tickets that you know you’re going to need. That way you can put your phone on airplane mode when you leave your hotel, avoiding the potential for distractions but also giving yourself access to the information that you need. You might also want to consider investing in a stand-alone camera.

Limit your access to the internet. Turn off cellular data so that you can use the internet only when connected to Wi-Fi. Or put it on airplane mode so that your internet access is cut off completely. It can also be useful to install an app blocker, such as Freedom for iOS and Stay Focused for Android and setting a schedule for when — and for how long — you can have access to particular websites or apps.

Find alternate ways to get information. If you’re desperate to catch up on the news, buy a newspaper. If you need to find a place to eat, or are lost and need directions, ask for help from a real live person. (Don’t underestimate the power of a good pantomime.) The only way to truly experience a different culture is to interact with it.

Remember: there’s more to life than the internet. We have a tendency to think that the only experiences worth having are the ones that have five-star ratings. But the most memorable experiences will never be found on Yelp. Allow for serendipity.

You could always just leave your phone at home. But if that sounds too extreme, try this: Every day, pick a time or activity when you will leave your phone behind. Then notice what it feels like to be without your digital appendage.

You’ll probably feel anxious at first, but as time passes, you may feel a strange sense of calm (likely because being tethered to our phones raises our baseline rates of adrenaline, especially when notifications are enabled) or a feeling that time has slowed down. For the full effect, I recommend trying a full 24 hours — but even 30 minutes can be eye-opening.

Vacations are a great opportunity to reset — especially when it comes to our relationships with our phones. Before you automatically go back to your normal routine, take a moment — either on your own, or with your traveling companions — to reflect on whether there is anything you’d like to keep doing now that you’re home.

For example, you could keep your notifications turned off, or refrain from automatically reinstalling the apps that you’ve deleted, or charge your phone outside your bedroom, or schedule a time each day to go without your phone. Experiment enough, and you may be able to maintain a vacation-like sense of freedom during your normal life as well.

Catherine Price is the author of “How to Break Up With Your Phone: The 30-Day Plan to Take Back Your Life.

A version of this article appears in print on  , Section A, Page 3 of the New York edition with the headline: Here to Help; How Not to Let Your Phone Ruin Your Vacation. Order Reprints | Today’s Paper | Subscribe

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