Vacationing For Dummies: An In-House Counsel Manual

If you don’t take your vacation that means there’s something your business person does better than you do. The business wins.

As the weather warms and July draws near, it’s time for a public service announcement, friends. Take your vacation.

I never thought I’d type these words. But here I go. When it comes to taking vacations, you must follow the lead of the business. In other words:

DO EXACTLY WHAT THE BUSINESS DOES.

Shudder.

When a business partner goes on vacation, he will change his signature block a full month before he’s scheduled to be off. It will read “I will be OOO from July 1 – July 12 with no access to email during this time.” He will stop just short of writing “You’re shit out of luck,” because that’s still considered gauche in some circles, but you know what he’s thinking. You’re a lawyer. Read the subtext.

A week before he is scheduled to depart, he will show up in your office (without bothering to check if your calendar is blocked) and remind you (in pained tones) that he will be unavailable. Again, a silent chorus of “you’re shit out of luck” erupts behind him.

Then when he’s actually out, if you’re lucky, it will be like he decided to vacation in the Bermuda Triangle. If you’re unlucky, you may receive an email from him (miraculous really, given he has no access to email) that requires you to tend to something urgently while providing vague, often factually incorrect details about the situation that will lead you on an unrewarding scavenger hunt to find the answer. Because he didn’t bother to line up coverage for anything, it will take you twice as long to work through it. You’ll eventually find a solution, likely no small feat of sheer will power on your part, only to receive absolute radio silence or a curt response that he’ll respond when he’s back in the office.

Sponsored

Contrast this experience against your own dismal vacation record.

You don’t change your signature block a month before. Why? Because you’re not a crazy person. Doing so would only incite general panic and a bunch of business partners passive-aggressively complaining about the lack of legal support around a holiday.

A week before you go on vacation, you’ll shut your office door and draft a carefully worded email to yourself with your business partners on blind copy. You let them know when you’ll be out and who will be covering in your absence. You’ll soften the blow by noting that you will be periodically checking email but will be delayed in responding.

You hit send. And brace yourself.

Mass hysteria ensues. Your inbox is flooded by pre-vacation requests (by requests, I mean thinly veiled threats) to close out all open deals and projects before you go. There will also be a slew of new pre-vacation requests that embody every whim and desire of the business that run the gamut from a contract request for a deal that isn’t negotiated yet (but could be while you’re out) to a single-page summary of all active contracts you have with a business partner so that he isn’t at a disadvantage while you’re out.

Sponsored

You spend the next week churning out work like a monkey on crank. You start using words in your contracts that sound like obscenities but aren’t. You start muttering these words to yourself in the elevator. People will discreetly move away from you. You’ll forget you’re going on vacation until two days before when a revolving parade of horribles wander in and out of your office, demanding to understand how they were unaware you were going on vacation and specifically, what hours of those days you will be available to jump on this conference call or draft that document.

You go on vacation anyway. You promise yourself that you will only check email at breakfast and after dinner. But there are so many urgent things and if you don’t attend to it now, it’s just going to pile up, so you may as well stay on top of it and besides, you are a master of work-life integration. You can swing it.

You can’t. You suck at it.

Perhaps you’re a Biglaw escapee like myself. Years of conditioning have left you unable to relax and enjoy your vacation. Everyone else is suffering, so should you. Or you’re doing something wrong. Or maybe you don’t have that excuse. Maybe you’re just so Type A that the thought of unread email in your inbox is physically painful to you. Or maybe you can’t stand those you decided to vacation with and you’re using work as a convenient cover not to go snorkeling.

Whatever the reason, just stop and take a good look at your business partner. Except for the rare occasion they decide to check their email and throw some shade your way, they make good on their promise to stay off the grid. They allow work to accumulate. It’s not cheese. It won’t mold. And they return to the office tanner and happier for it (except for the requisite comments about how vacation isn’t long enough and it will take them weeks to dig out).

Here’s your new life goal. Aspire to be that business partner. Why? Because at an intellectual level, you get the importance of taking time off from your work to avoid burnout and other job-related stressors. Blah blah blah. But your lizard brain just won’t let you do it, right? Think about it this way: if you don’t take your vacation that means there’s something your business person does better than you do. The business wins.

So please friends, take your vacation. You’ve earned it.


Kay Thrace (not her real name) is a harried in-house counsel at a well-known company that everyone loves to hate. When not scuffing dirt on the sacrosanct line between business and the law, Kay enjoys pub trivia domination and eradicating incorrect usage of the Oxford comma. You can contact her by email at KayThraceATL@gmail.com or follow her on Twitter @KayThrace.