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Embarrassed Comcast CEO Just Tells People He Does Digital Media Stuff

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PHILADELPHIA—Saying he is always too embarrassed to get into the specifics of what he actually does for a living, Comcast CEO Brian Roberts confided to reporters Tuesday that whenever he is asked about his job, he just says he does digital media stuff. “It’s honestly pretty boring, so I usually tell people I work at a website doing more behind-the-scenes internet kinda stuff,” said Roberts, who added that he felt sheepish at the prospect of admitting to anyone that he sold out and took a job managing a global media and telecommunications conglomerate to pay the bills. “Considering people wouldn’t really understand what I do anyway, I’d prefer to just keep it simple and say something vague about working for a content platform. If I get into the details, then I also have to explain to people that where I work isn’t who I am, and that gets so demoralizing, you know? Ask the CEO of AT&T—he’ll tell you the exact same thing.” Roberts later added that while he’s thankful his current day job affords him the opportunity to work with creative people, what he’d really like to do is be a writer himself.