Trigger warning: This piece includes mentions of rape and sexual assault, as well as survivors' descriptions of legal proceedings and medical exams.
Tyler is a senior in college now, but she was only 14 years old when she was sexually assaulted by her mother’s boyfriend. Tyler says that after the assault, she told her story repeatedly: first to her boyfriend, then to her mother, her band director, and her school counselor. It wasn’t until months later that she was finally able to file a police report. She was young, her mother refused to believe her, and she didn’t know who to trust.
The process can be both intimidating and stressful for those wishing to undertake it. To demystify it, we talked to experts and survivors about why people do (or do not) move forward with reporting their assaults, as well as what happens when a victim gets a rape kit, the complex decision to press charges, and what comes next.
Steps a Survivor Can Take After Going Through Sexual Violence
Whether undergoing a rape kit or pressing charges, the entire process of seeking justice for sexual violence can be overwhelming. After Roxie, 22, was roofied and sexually assaulted, she had no idea where to begin. “I had no education on what the process would be like,” she tells Allure. “Because of how society is, I felt like I was in the wrong. When the police were interrogating me I felt so much shame, like it was my fault.”
Deciding whether or not to file a report is a personal decision, but knowing exactly what resources are available for survivors and the step-by-step process can make the experience less intimidating. Following a rape, one of the first steps a survivor can take in the quest for justice is having a sexual assault medical forensic exam, commonly called a rape kit, performed.
When Mary decided to get a rape kit the morning after her assault, she didn’t know what to expect. “It wasn't something that I thought I would ever have to encounter,” she says. The exam was difficult and having it performed so soon after the incident caused her to have a panic attack. But the medical professionals were all “very kind and empathetic,” she says, which made the experience more bearable. Understanding exactly what to expect can help survivors feel more empowered to make the decision that is best for them.
It's important to know that not every hospital has someone on staff trained to perform a sexual assault medical forensics exam. To ensure you get the best care possible, the National Sexual Assault Hotline at (800) 656-HOPE (4673) will direct you to a facility that can provide you with the services you need. Another option is to bring a trained advocate to the hospital with you. It may be difficult for a survivor to advocate for themselves so soon after a traumatic experience, but fortunately many areas have advocacy centers that can provide survivors with helpful resources.
Why Those Most at Risk Don't Report
It can feel like stories of sexual violence are everywhere we turn, especially in the #MeToo era. “Anytime I share my story, somebody else has another one," Tyler explains. "It makes you feel both better and worse because it shouldn't happen that often.”
While one out of every six American women is the survivor of a rape or an attempted rape in her lifetime (in contrast with one in every 33 men), marginalized folks are generally at a higher risk for experiencing sexual violence. For instance, 21 percent of transgender or gender-nonconforming college students have been sexually assaulted. White women are raped at a rate of 17.7 percent, while 11.9 percent of Latina women, 18.8 percent of black women, and a startling 34.1 percent of Native American women are raped.
Despite the fact that women of color are assaulted at a higher rate than white women, 80 percent of rapes are reported by white women. According to the Women of Color Network, women of color may decide not to report for reasons directly related to systemic racism. For many black women who choose not to report, distrust of law enforcement and medical professionals is often a contributing factor. Native American women who live on reservations are more likely to live in poverty and are less likely to have access to resources like telephones, childcare, transportation, and victim centers. These can all be huge factors in the silence of survivors.
Anna, a Latina whose name has been changed to protect her privacy, was terrified after her assault. Growing up as an immigrant in a religious household, she felt an intense amount of shame surrounding her sexual assault. “Being an immigrant has always made me feel like an outsider who can’t connect with people," Anna says. "I have never felt ‘at home.’ I didn’t learn to speak English until I was around seven, and I’m still insecure about how words can’t form easily in my mouth.”
She was assaulted while unconscious, and the perpetrator was well-known and liked in her community. “I feel like it would seem like I was lying about a member of the community as an outsider, and I don’t want to deal with that," she tells Allure. "I didn’t think anyone would believe me.” Anna decided not to report her rape.
While issues of systemic racism cannot be solved overnight, working to ensure that all survivors have access to the resources and information they deserve is imperative. Mellissa Withers, an associate professor in clinical preventative medicine at the University of Southern California, spoke to Allure about sexual assault and its effects on women. One of the reasons that reporting is low, she says, is “because of the shame and stigma and blaming — they think they won’t be believed.”
OK, So What Is a Rape Kit?
Before we talk about the process itself, it's important to know that undergoing a rape kit can be triggering for many survivors. But experts like Withers say that having a forensic exam can be crucial to a case, and though it can be a difficult experience, it is not a process you have to go through alone. “Many hospitals have people who are trained in trauma-informed care so as to not retraumatize the [survivor]," Withers says. "Many hospitals work with victim advocates who will be with you and support you through the process.”
Here's what to expect: First, nurses will tend to any injuries that need immediate attention. Then they will ask questions about your general medical history and for any details you remember from the assault. It’s important to be as specific as possible when recounting the incident so that the nurses know exactly which areas of the body to examine.
The main part of the forensic exam is the head-to-toe examination. During this step, swabs are taken from all the areas where the perpetrator may have left DNA. This can include internal examinations of the mouth, vagina, or anus. With the survivor’s permission, photographs may be taken of bruising or injuries. The clothing worn during the assault may be confiscated as evidence, so bringing an extra set of clothes to the hospital is a good idea. Lastly, the doctors may offer prevention treatment for STIs or schedule a follow-up appointment.
For many survivors, having a sexual assault medical forensics exam performed is not an option for a multitude of reasons — and that's OK. This was the case for Madison, a senior in college. After she was raped by her boyfriend, she couldn’t bring herself to leave her room for days. Instead of having an exam immediately afterward, her next step was to file a police report. Read on to learn about what that's like.
How to File a Police Report
Depending on the jurisdiction, you can file a police report by contacting the direct line of a police station or visiting the station to file the report in person. Many sexual assault service providers that have advocates to accompany survivors to the hospital also have advocates to accompany survivors while they fill out a police report.
Allure spoke to Jennifer Long, the CEO of AEquitas, an NGO that focuses on issues of gender-based violence, stalking, and human trafficking. Long has years of experience as an attorney, and now her focus is providing training and research so that survivors are not retraumatized when they engage with the system. She says advocates can be incredibly helpful and encourages survivors to ask their own questions.
“Talk to community advocates; talk to law enforcement about what will happen and what the process looks like,” she says. “Survivors often don’t feel empowered to ask questions because it is a vulnerable time, but they have the right to be informed, and understanding can reduce the anxiety that comes with the process.”
After filing a police report, the survivor must then decide whether or not to press charges. For many, this is the step that can be the most intimidating. However, just deciding to file that initial report can be crucial. If the perpetrator commits a crime in the future, the initial report will already be on the record.
A Look at Legal Proceedings
Even if you’ve been through a court case before, this particular process can seem daunting. Long does her best to demystify the legal process for Allure and explains each step, pointing out that because each state, jurisdiction, and case is so different, it's hard to generalize about what the legal process looks like. But in general, after a police report has been filed and charges have been pressed, a detective is assigned to the case. The detective conducts interviews with the survivor and the defendant while gathering and evaluating evidence. When the case is finally pulled together, it's sent to the prosecutor, who decides what the charges should be.
It’s during this step that many cases are dropped due to lack of evidence, though others still make it further in the process. Next comes a preliminary hearing or a grand jury, at which time evidence is presented. During the discovery period, the prosecutor hands over all of the evidence gathered thus far to the defense. This stage of the trial can take up to six months, Long tells Allure. This can be frustrating, she says, but often this stage takes so long because the prosecutor is trying to protect the survivor's privacy.
The final stage of the process is the trial itself. The length of each trial may vary widely, Long explains, lasting a few weeks or months. The trial culminates in a guilty or not guilty verdict, and the sentencing. Each state has different standards for sentencing, according to the Bureau of Justice, but the average sentence length for rape is 11 years.
The Aftermath of Reporting Sexual Violence
In December, serial rapist Marques Mondy was sentenced to 10 to 15 years after being connected to at least five sexual assaults. At his sentencing, one of Mondy’s victims, Charlotte Doyal, read a statement about how the rape and years dealing with it in court had fundamentally changed her.
“I never thought I would be strong enough to stand up against something this big, this scary," she read. "But when I heard about his past victims, I immediately thought about his future victims. I couldn’t sit silent knowing he was out there and could hurt other women.... I knew that no matter how much shame I had, I had to at least try to get justice for myself and try to get justice for the other women who have suffered at the hands of Marques.”
Not every survivor will see their assailant behind bars, but those who spoke with Allure for this story have some words of encouragement for others who've experienced sexual violence and are considering the legal process. Sydney, for example, decided not to report her rapist, but says, “It doesn’t feel like regret; it feels like unfinished business and disappointment in myself. I would encourage every survivor to report. Report and don’t stop trying until your story is done and you feel closure.”
Mary, whose case was dropped despite DNA evidence, tells Allure, “So many women are scared to come forward. Even though he was not prosecuted, I still feel that coming forward made me a stronger person because I didn’t want to hide what happened. I wanted people to hear my story because it made me who I am today.”
Ultimately, it's a personal decision, and there's no one-size-fits-all way to heal or move forward from rape or sexual assault. You are not alone.
If you're a survivor of sexual assault and looking for resources, you can call RAINN at (800) 656-HOPE (4673). You'll be connected with a trained staff member from a local sexual assault service provider and given access to a wide range of free services.
Read more stories about survivors of sexual assault:
- Why So Many Sexual Assault Survivors Come Forward All at Once
- Bad Sexual Encounters Don't Need to Be Rape to Be Unacceptable
- Somatic Sex Education: A New Therapy Helping Survivors Heal
