“You get to work from home? That’s awesome!” That’s what they all say to you. You nod and grimace because you know, while it is nice to skip the commute and avoid office politics, working from home comes with its own set of challenges. Namely, you know how difficult it is to make people understand that just because you’re at home in your sweatpants doesn’t mean that you’re available.
Order in lunch, fire up Slack, and plan your afternoon shower. It’s Work From Home Week! From our couches and our local coffeeshops, Lifehacker is bringing you advice on maintaining your productivity, balance, and sanity, whether you’re working at home for just a day or a whole career.
What most people don’t seem to get about working from home is that it’s a real job just like any other. For example, I need to get up at a certain time, start working at a certain time, and then I proceed to spend most of my day at my desk, working. Yes, it’s nice that I can do all of that in my underwear, but the work itself isn’t any different than what my wonderful coworkers are doing in the main office. If anything, working from home is harder for me because there are so many distractions around. I can watch movies, play games, go for a run, cook meals, read books, take a nap, finally shower, etc. Trust me, jealous office folks, I’ve done both office and home gigs and the grass is always greener.
But the biggest distraction of all is the people you live with. My current situation is sublime because I live with someone who also works from home and understands, but I’ve had my fair share of roomies who did not. They wanted me to do things, go places, and work on other stuff like I wasn’t a full-time employee. Portlandia has a great sketch (above) about someone who works from home who refuses to deal with the cable guy that sums up the feelings from both sides pretty well. Yeah, it sounds silly that we don’t want to be distracted while we work from the comfort of our home, but also, leave me the hell alone—I’m working!
If you feel like your roommates or partner don’t understand and keep making your work harder than it needs to be, you need to have an earnest chat with them. Preferably when you’re not already in the middle of work. Do not wait to have this conversation until the moment they bug you because that will only lead to an argument or you sounding like a jerk, and they’ll be defensive instead of retentive. When the time is right—like a relaxed evening or weekend—here’s what you tell them:
I need to talk to you about when I work from home. I know it might be a little confusing because I’m here instead of an office, but it’s not time off, or any form of that. Between the hours of [insert working hours here] I’m not available—for anything. I can’t hang out, do chores, run errands, or take care of [insert person, place, or thing here] at that time because I need to focus on my work. But if I can, I’ll of course do my best to take care of it later. Just imagine I’m not actually here during that time if it helps. It’s important to me that you understand.
Then, say this:
Do you have any questions for me?
You need to set them straight about the importance of your work, but you also need to give them an opportunity to ask all those questions they may have been holding back. If they’ve never had a remote gig, everything about it might seem strange. Maybe knowing how it all works will help them better understand the nature of your job. Or perhaps they want to know if something they do during the day is distracting to you. Encourage them to ask questions and be honest when you answer them. Now’s not the time to hold things back for the sake of avoiding confrontation. You want to fix a problem here, not create more.
Now, not every work-from-home situation calls for a serious sit-down conversation. If your roommates or partner mostly understand how important your at-home focus is, you might be able to get by with a few basic rules that promote a healthy work/home life balance. Here are a few examples:
The closed-door rule: If the door to your office/study/bedroom is closed during set working hours, you’re busy and should not be disturbed. If it’s open, you might still be working, but you’re available to at least chat.
The 10 minutes or less rule: You can only participate in activities or do things to help out around the house if they take 10 minutes or less to complete. Otherwise, things will have to wait until after you’re finished with work. You can adapt this to any time limit you like based on your preferences.
The two-day rule: This one is my personal favorite. Basically, you say you’re willing to help out with bigger things or participate in more time-consuming activities as long as you’re given some lead time. Two days, or 48 hours, gives you enough time to plan things out, get extra work done ahead of time, and let your office know you’ll be unavailable during a certain time window. One day is not enough.
If you’re new to working from home, I can’t stress enough how important it is you establish these work/home boundaries. Seek compromise, but now is not the time to bend. A remote job, whether it’s full- or part-time, is already stressful enough. Don’t make it harder for yourself.