What happens after you leave this world and pass on into the next one, whatever that may be? Well, that depends on you! I’m not talking about what happens to your remains or whether or not there is an afterlife. I’m talking about what happens right here on earth after you depart. You should care about this. Not just because it’s the right thing to do, but because you probably want your heirs to remember you for the wonderful legacy you plan on leaving, not because of the mess you left behind that they spent three years unraveling.
I speak from experience. My birth-father (I was adopted and later became acquainted with my birth family) died suddenly when he was 71. He left no will or other estate disposition document. In his defense, he probably had no idea he might die that young, but still… he was a lawyer! He should have known what chaos would ensue. And it did. He left my birth-mother, already in the early stages of dementia, almost penniless, and no one knew where to find any of his personal papers, access codes or other documentation. My brother-in-law spent the next three-plus years attempting to straighten out the estate, pay outstanding bills, protect my birth-mother, and salvage what he could of my birth-father’s reputation.
Estate organization is different than estate planning. An estate attorney or elder law attorney can help you set up your will, your advance directive, you power(s)-of-attorney, and a trust if you require it. The attorney will probably even keep a copy of those documents, but she or he has no power over what you do with your copy of those documents once you leave their offices.
Jeanne Smith, founder of the estate organization company, Exit Stage Right, recommends developing an entire guidebook––a game plan––for your family and significant others while you are still among them and able to do so. She has discovered “there is a direct correlation between how we face death and prepare our families and their ability to survive, adjust and begin the recovery from grief. Organizing your estate is a ‘gift of love’ that extends far beyond the time you can be there to care for your family.”
Jump start this estate organizing process by asking yourself the following questions:
- Would anyone in your family know where to locate your advance directive should you end up in the hospital?
- Are your legal documents available on paper? Online? Who among your family or loved ones knows where to find them?
- Who has access to your bank accounts and knows your passwords and login data?
- Are you currently caring for someone? Who would take over that responsibility should you become unable to do so?
- Have you made final arrangements for your death, funeral, and burial or cremation? Who knows about those plans and where is the paperwork?
- Where are your insurance papers located? Who knows where to find them?
- Who will take care of your pets when you are no longer able?
Finally, remember that creating the plans and organizing the forms and other documents is only half of the task. The second half is communication. The better you are able to communicate your wishes and what you have organized to those who are important in your life, the more love you are showing them while you are still around to enjoy each other and the better prepared they will be to grieve in a healthy way, treasure your memory and get on with their lives.
