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A recent survey by Coupofy found that 43% of millennials won’t go to the bathroom without their smartphones. 42% said they’ll skip the gym when choosing between working out and charging their phones. 20% admitted that their smartphones are the only reason they don’t get enough sleep.
But we know this.
When was the last time you went a day—or even a morning—without using your phone?
Smartphone separation anxiety is real:
A 2010 study—which coined the condition nomophobia, “no-mobile-phone phobia”—found that more than half of British mobile phone users got anxious when they lost their phone or network coverage or it died. 77% checked their phones 35 or more times a day. Another study reported that 45% of responders said they feel “worried or uncomfortable” when email and Facebook are inaccessible.
But it’s not just being away from our smartphones that makes us anxious. It’s being around them.
58% of millennials surveyed by Coupofy think anxiety is the main side effect of compulsive smartphone behavior.
Research supports their hunch:
Among students, frequent cellphone usage is correlated with increased anxiety and depression and reduced life satisfaction. In several studies, teens who relied heavily on their phones and/or social media experienced elevated levels of stress, aggression, depression and distraction as well as worse self-esteem and sleep.
In short, we’re anxious with them and we’re anxious without them. But before you throw up your hands, research has good news: we can enjoy the convenience of portable technology without being controlled by it.
Here are five ways to milk the benefits and mitigate the side effects of our smartphones:
1. Be optimistic.
One risk factor of nomophobia is “self-negative views.”
How we feel about ourselves and the world reflects how we think the world feels about us. For instance, optimistic college students have larger friendship networks, less stress and depression and perceive more social support than do pessimistic students.
Maybe optimistic students feel more supported because they’re more likable, attractive and extraverted. Or maybe they’re more likable, attractive and extraverted because they’re optimistic. There’s only one way to find out: try viewing your social network as social support, not randoms judging you. The best way to cultivate that attitude? Support others yourself, help solve their problems, contribute to online communities, stop umpiring everybody’s statuses.
One study found that teens who spent their time on Facebook being supportive of others and sending words of encouragement decreased their cortisol levels.
You could see everyone as out to hate you, or you could see them as there to support you. This single choice directly influences your psychological health.
2. Don’t abandon it.
Millennials know leaving our phone at home isn’t realistic, and psychologists know it's not beneficial.
Participants allowed to keep their smartphones (but not use them) during stressful situations or cognitive tasks are less likely to be adversely affected by stress. Those deprived of their phones, on the other hand, are more likely to experience anxiety, high blood pressure, increased heart rate and, oddly, worse cognitive performance.
Instead of dropping your phone altogether, define the apps and/or smartphone activities that 1) Stress you out and 2) Waste your time. For me, it’s texting and Facebook. I do both as little as possible, consistently. That way, people know those aren’t good ways to get ahold of me, and I also remove the pressure of “having to” respond to or interact with people using these mediums.
If something wastes your time but doesn’t stress you out, consider keeping it. One study found, for example, that participants experienced pleasurable solitude and less stress when using their tablets in the privacy of their bathrooms.
Spending free time on your phone isn't bad unless it gets in the way of more important activities or makes you feel like crap. If you notice something wastes your time and stresses you out, delete the app or stop doing it.
3. Turn off all notifications.
Smartphones spur a compulsive need to review and respond to notifications. “Variable interval reinforcement schedules”—utilized by slot machines, email and push notifications—explain why. This conditioning essentially means that a specific action (like checking your phone) is rewarded inconsistently, which keeps you coming back. The hope—rather than a more predictable, less exciting promise—of something good on our screen triggers dependence on a device that’s uneventful most of the time.
60% of college students and 60% of teens reported feeling “addicted” to their phones. One study concluded that cell phones are "possibly the biggest non-drug addiction of the 21st century." And, unsurprisingly, participants who admitted having addictive behaviors toward their smartphones scored higher on depression and anxiety scales. Likewise, feeling the need to immediately respond to a text or email increases our stress levels.
The solution?
Turn off your phone notifications. Don’t just put it on DND or airplane mode. You won’t. Your time is more valuable than 24/7 interruptions, and it's time to regain control. On an iPhone, go to Settings, press “Notifications” and go through every one of your apps to uncheck “Allow Notifications.” You’re free!
4. See people face-to-face.
While Facebook, Twitter, texting and the host of other ways we contact others via smartphone may yield instant connections, they're less likely to produce real connections. After reviewing hundreds of studies, Canadian psychologist Susan Pinker found that social interaction through a screen cannot substitute face-to-face interaction. Relationships without face-to-face contact, she concluded, don’t create the trust necessary to maintain authentic connections.
Moreover, research overwhelmingly indicates that we feel better after seeing people in the flesh. One study found that while Facebook makes us sad and dissatisfied, participants who felt down after using Facebook were “quickly uplifted” after a phone conversation or a face-to-face exchange. Thus, not only is in-person interaction good for us; it can help alleviate some of the negative side effects of virtual interaction.
Stop texting about getting together. Get together. This is your motivation: connecting in-person isn’t just good for your relationships; it’s good for you.
5. Seek solitude.
Just as important as seeing people, however, is not seeing people. Nicholas Carr writes in The Shallows, “The smartphone, more than any other gadget, steals from us the opportunity to maintain our attention, to engage in contemplation and reflection, or even to be alone with our thoughts.”
One study found that pressure to be constantly connected via cell phone may drain our alone time and augment our anxiety. “Because the cell phone is ever-present,” the authors explain, “it may be difficult for some users to disconnect and find the solitude necessary to temporarily escape these perceived obligations.”
An excellent article in Fast Company sums that when we’re alone we can temporarily "disengage from the demands of other people.” Sherry Turkle, researcher and founder of the MIT Initiative on Technology and Self, explains:
Solitude is where you find yourself so that you can reach out to other people and form real attachments. When we don't have the capacity for solitude, we turn to other people in order to feel less anxious or in order to feel alive.
When I started prioritizing solitude, it was amazing how many small opportunities I had to be alone with myself: in the waiting room, driving, listening to music, cooking, showering, reading. Make mental space from your smartphone, and you may start to look forward to being without it.
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