I'm fine...

Isn't that the go to response whenever someone asks you how you are? 

What is the reality? 

Nobody knows how someone else is feeling until you are on the receiving end of what we perceive as 'nastiness' or passive aggressive or if they choose to share their 'actual' experience or reach out for help. 

Our society conditions us to 'hold it all in', 'be strong', 'get on with it', a very 'masculine' way of doing, and lessens to more feminine 'being' as in allowing the feelings, processing and getting in touch with who we are.  We all have aspects of both masculine and feminine qualities within us, regardless of gender. 

Nobody knows how someone else is feeling until you are on the receiving end of what we perceive as 'nastiness' or passive aggressive or if they choose to share their 'actual' experience or reach out for help. 

Our society conditions us to 'hold it all in', 'be strong', 'get on with it', a very 'masculine' way of doing, and lessens to more feminine 'being' as in allowing the feelings, processing and getting in touch with who we are.  We all have aspects of both masculine and feminine qualities within us, regardless of gender. 

And I am so proud that I have let go of those more masculine sides of myself to embrace my authenticity. To act with integrity with feeling, with loving, with honouring, with respecting and with embracing all aspects of who I am, even my shadow side. I am me and I am unique.  As we all are in our own ways.

Some days we just don't want to go there, as in go to places in your head. Stories that are created in your imagination that feel so real, to the point where you want to check out of life completely. So vivid, so true and so encompassing, we hear ourselves saying,

“It’s too hard.”                    "It’s too difficult.”            “Why am I such a failure?"

"What’s wrong with me?”

Depression is a vast area and everyone experiences it differently.

With me, I notice that I begin to lose interest in me, in what I enjoy doing. I gradually disengage with social activities. I just want to sleep. I tend to eat more unhealthy food because I am not drinking enough water or eating consistently. It’s like I go into self-sabotage mode.

Here’s a story shared with me by a professional male diagnosed with depression, I don't know if you will relate?

“I don’t feel like it. I don’t enjoy the things that I used to and everything feels like such an effort. All I want to do is rest and sleep, I’m not even motivated to go out with friends. I’ve put on weight and I feel like I’m on an emotional rollercoaster. What will people think of me? I can’t even make a decision, why are the simple things in life so hard to deal with?

"Some days I go to places in my mind where I never want to return to, I get that sinking feeling that I never want to go back there.”

If you notice these symptoms in someone you know, be sure to reach out for support, they might not always take it from you but knowing that they can is vital to emerging from the depths. 

When I am beginning to show the symptoms of depression, I begin to take steps, with loving care, I use Focussed Mindfulness techniques and self-love tools that I have learnt, little steps to pull myself up.

I love myself more and notice that my energy begins to improve. I take the pressure off because I know that I am exactly where I need to be at this stage in my life. My energy improves, I feel great, excited, empowered, I take positive steps and emerge into the light that I am.

I love myself more and notice that my energy begins to improve. I take the pressure off because I know that I am exactly where I need to be at this stage in my life. My energy improves, I feel great, excited, empowered, I take positive steps and emerge into the light that I am.

Each one of us has our own journey. Each one of us has vulnerabilities. Each one of us is unique in how they let stress out and cope with it.

Each one of us has our own journey. Each one of us has vulnerabilities. Each one of us is unique in how they let stress out and cope with it. A great visual to illustrate vulnerability, not just linked to depression, is The Stress Bucket by Brabban and Turkington in 2002.

Your vulnerability is shown by the size of the bucket, how you cope by the amount of stress that you allow to flow outwards so that your bucket doesn’t overflow. I will explore the Stress Bucket in further blogs.

If I can help you today?

Do you want to remove the frustration, unleash the sadness or debunk the worries in your life? then call me on 07921 239456 or text me and I will ring you back.  

Alternatively comment below and I will get back to you…

Share your story by email to Elena@be-comeyou.co.uk or to book a free 30 min session,

You are loved, you are exactly where you need to be and you are amazing just as you are...

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With love,

Elena xxx