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Father's Day

A Father's Day lesson on being a successful dad

Being a successful father isn't that complicated, it comes down to showing up, being involved, doing the right things in your own life and loving your child.

Bob Gabordi
Florida Today
Going fishing in 2011.

This column is intended for all new dads, but especially one: my firstborn child who recently became a father for the first time.

Rob — pardon me, Dr. Robert C. Gabordi II — is a surgeon, a fellowship-trained breast-cancer specialist in Tampa. As a child, I taught him to throw, catch and hit a baseball and was thrilled to watch him hit a ball against the fence at Pittsburgh’s Three Rivers Stadium as a high schooler.

But, I thought, nothing was more thrilling than watching him get his diploma after completing his fellowship after four years of medical school, five as a resident and one year as a fellow. I thought for sure I would burst with pride that night, that nothing could top that.

Then one day a breast-cancer survivor came up to me and hugged me for being Rob’s dad, saying he had saved her life. Surely, nothing could be better for a dad than that.

Again, I was wrong.

Watching him wrap his arm around his beautiful wife, Tracie, as she held baby Brady Alexander Gabordi was even more amazing by ten thousand or a million times. Seeing him hold his baby boy on his chest to rock him to sleep, while working on his notes about his patients, well, no words can describe the feeling of the old man called "GrandBob."

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Brady is only a few weeks old, but now, of course, the hard work begins. No job is tougher, no job is more important, and no job more rewarding than being a father in America these days. And it seems that is especially true of being the father of a boy. Somehow, many of the young men in our country have gotten off track and have a particularly hard row to hoe. The obstacles are higher, overcoming them more difficult.

This is where being a father and not just a dad comes in.

Pick a topic and the statistics will back me, I’m sure: The single biggest factor in the success of the child is the involvement of the father in his child’s life.

It shouldn’t be that hard. Most of being a successful father comes down to four things: showing up, being involved, doing the right things in your own life and — and this should be easiest of all — loving your child with all your heart and being.

As the father of five children — and now with four grandchildren and a fifth due in July — I say most of is that simple. Let me repeat the list for emphasis:

  • Show up
  • Be involved
  • Do the right things
  • Love them

Sure, it is important to teach Brady to catch, throw and hit — or kick or shoot — a ball. That will ensure a fun childhood. But teaching him to see beyond the ball field and to understand the value of art, reading, science and math will ensure a great life.

Teach Brady about America — and not just the one portrayed on television. Teach him how we value other Americans, even those who might be new Americans, or who might look, talk and think differently from yourself. Teach him about the sacrifices of our great-grandfathers from America’s Greatest Generation.

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Teach him to love peace, but to be willing to stand up for freedom should the time come, just as every generation of Americans have done. Teach him the value of courage and toughness under fire, then pray to God he never knows why that was an important lesson.

Spend time together. Remember us watching The Andy Griffin Show — the "boy and his daddy show," you called it? It was our time alone.

Remember travel ball and the cheap hotels? Remember the fight about curfew on prom night? I won the battle, but I think you also won in the long run.

Teach Brady that being a man means not only treating women as equals, with respect and fairness, but also believing it in his soul. Teach him that being a man means showing up, being involved, doing the right things and loving. Teach him to put family first, always, no matter what.

In short, teach him to be the type of man you have become.

Do that, and love him no matter what. And he will be his father’s source of pride for all your life.

Bob Gabordi is executive editor at Florida Today, where this piece first appeared. Follow him on Twitter @bgabordi.

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