We’ve been so focused on the stream of bad news about Donald Trump, we missed some of the good news to emerge in the last few days.
- Kid Rock, Sarah Palin, and Ted Nugent will be able to visit him in prison, without even having to change their outfits.
- He can stop lying about job creation because he’s finally created some: Special Prosecutors, DC Defense Attorneys, Liberal Psychoanalysts, NSA Replacements, SNL impersonators, Unnamed Sources, Bartenders, Cable News Pundits, Comedy Writers, one FBI Director, and employees of Pot Delivery Services (with the pace of breaking news, there’s no way I’m leaving the house).
- Barron doesn’t have to change schools.
- He was proven right, since by comparison, his first 100 days weren’t actually all that bad.
- He never really wanted to be president anyway.
- They’re relatives, so Jared still has to hang out with him.
- No one has to pretend that Thing One and Thing Two are actually running the Trump businesses.
- He can finally stop recording Fox and Friends for talking points and turn on what he really wants to watch. Apprentice re-runs.
- Health care is complicated. And at this rate, he’ll never have to learn about it.
- On Twitter, he can still make believe he’s president.
