1. The day you go to the airport will probably have the nicest weather you've had in weeks.
2. You'll also miraculously experience the heaviest traffic you've had in weeks.
3. Once you get there and past security, you'll realise you haven't got the right power adapter and have to pay an extortionate price to get one.
4. You'll also decide that you absolutely must have every toiletry product in travel-size.
5. You might buy one of these pillows, which you won't end up using because they actually do fuck all.
6. You will realise that airports are the final battleground for franchised coffee places.
7. You'll treat yourself to an M&S meal deal, which is frankly a British tradition and should be respected as such.
8. You'll spend ages in high street shops that you'd never normally go into.
9. Every single corridor is a soulless grey tube.
10. When you land back in Britain, without fail, it will NOT be sunny.
11. It'll also be slightly colder than you expect.
12. And you'll ask yourself, "Why did I ever return to this damp rock?"
13. Or you will think "Thank god I'm back on this damp rock. Thank god I no longer have to deal with the sun, that awful hot thing."
14. You will give a sigh of relief when you see the familiar, sterile blue glow of a Boots store.
15. This will also be the only time you ever see a WHSmith store anymore.
16. And then shed a little tear when you pay an extortionate price for whatever public transport you need to get home.
17. But at least you're home, in good ol' Blighty.
