Marriage Moats- Behind the Mask

Published: Sat, 06/27/15

Marriage Moats

Caring for Marriage

Behind the Mask
Photo: Joy Feerrar  
Pretending that everything is going well takes work. Yet many of us expend the effort, smiling when we want to weep, breathing when we want to scream. 

This week a woman whom I had thought was sailing through life expressed her feelings of intense failure. I wanted to throw my arms around her, but I just listened.

What will it be like when all the masks are gone? We get a sneak preview, in the company of a baby for whom being counterfeit is unthinkable. Yet most of us still cherish little ones, even with the unedited emotions that follow them like a shadow.

Marriage is designed to be a place where the masks come down. Yet sometimes it is still hard. To believe that we are lovable even when we are imperfect is counter intuitive. 

Each day I pray for couples. One of the qualities I ask God for is authenticity. Because in the end, or rather the beginning, I think the reason God can so unabashedly love us is because there is no mask that can keep him away. 

Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,”
Even the night shall be light about me;
12 Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.
​Psalm 139