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CLARK -- On Friday night, after four years of CYO basketball together, the nine boys and two girls on the St. John's 5th grade team had to make a decision: Play without the girls or give up the rest of the season.
Two weeks prior, the team was told by the league's director that they should never have played as a coed team and the girls would not be allowed to play on the team for the last two games of the season. Parents said the team's record was wiped, too, since the girls had played in those games "illegally."
But no one expected what was coming next: The boys, hearing the news, decided they simply would not play ball without their girl teammates.
After the team and their opponents from St. Bartholomew the Apostle in Scotch Plains suited up for the game at the St. John's gym, refs said they had been instructed by the league director, Rich Donovan, not to work if the girls played.
For 15 minutes, there was a stalemate as the teams, coaches and officials couldn't come to an agreement about what should happen next. Couldn't the St. Bart's players just play an unofficial game, with the girls included, and collect a win due to the "official" game being forfeited? Would playing cause them any repercussions from the league?
"One parent told me it's my decision (whether the girls play), but I said no way, I'm not making this decision for 11 10-year-olds," says St. John's coach Rob Martel.
And so even though they were sure of what the answer would be, the parents posed the question to the kids again.
"Is your decision to play the game without the two young ladies on the team, or do you want to stay as a team as you have all year?" asked parent Matthew Dohn. "Show of hands for play as a team?"
Eleven hands shot up in unison. No one raised a hand when asked the alternative.
Assistant coach Keisha Martel, who is also the mom of one of the girls, Kayla Martel, reminded the team of the consequences. They had been told that playing the girls would mean the rest of the season would be forfeited.
"But if the girls play, this will be the end of your season. You won't play in the playoffs," she warned.
"It doesn't matter," one boy replied and others echoed, before the team began to chant, "Unity!"
In the crowd, supporters cheered along. Several parents began to cry.
"Pride. Just pure pride," answered parent Denise Laskody through tears when asked what she thought of the vote. "These kids are doing the right thing. We don't have to tell them what to do. They just know. It's amazing."
The refs wouldn't take the court. The St. Bart's team, who had already warmed up, exited the gym. Some St. Bart's parents, hearing about the drama, told St. John's parents they were sorry and that they would have loved to have played, but it was out of their hands. The St. Bart's coach would not comment for this story.
Still, the St. John's team had decided, come what may, they were playing a game of basketball Friday night. Half of the St. John's players wore navy blue T-shirts parents had ordered with "#unitygames" emblazoned on the fronts. They played against the other half of their team, girls included. Two older girls from other St. John's teams volunteered as refs. With big smiles, the team took to the court for the last time together.
The decision to remove the girls came two weeks ago, after a complaint was filed when St. John's played St. Theresa's, a few miles away in Kenilworth. There, another crusade is being waged - the family of a 7th grade girl, Sydney Phillips, sued after the school wouldn't allow her to play for its boys basketball team. Phillips and her sister were expelled from the school after the suit, but on Feb. 3, an appeals court judge ruled they must be allowed to return to school.
Jim Goodness, spokesman for the archdiocese of Newark, said rules specifically state the teams should be boys or girls only after 4th grade, and said St. John's athletic director, Jack Cajuste, admitted he made an error in allowing the team to exist this way at the 5th grade level.
Cajuste, when approached at the game on Friday, declined to comment and demanded NJ Advance Media staff leave the gym, but then allowed reporters to remain so long as we did not take any more photos inside the gym.
Before eating pizza at a party in the school's teacher's lounge after the game, one of the boys led the prayer.
"We are all here today supporting the girls and having this fun game," he said. "It's been a great season and it's been fun having all you guys play basketball. Amen."
One of the girls, Kayla Martel, told NJ Advance Media she knows her teammates have her back.
"It has a big impact on me because it shows that they care. I'm part of them just as they're part of me and they don't want to break that bond just like I don't want to break that bond," Kayla Martel said. "I think the rules are ridiculous."
It seemed the battle could still be won at a point: Seeing the boys' resolve, parents took up the fight and even had St. John's pastor, Rev. Robert G. McBride, hand-deliver a letter to the archdiocese's newly installed archbishop, Cardinal Joseph W. Tobin.
The parents say Tobin initially took their side, saying the girls could at least finish out their season, but days later, he rescinded his decision, citing legal issues, they say.
"My understanding is there were conversations, but at the end of day the vicar general notified everyone that the situation needs to remain the way it was discussed with them," Goodness said of Tobin's decision.
Alexandra Costa, a mother of one of the boys on the team also wrote to the league director, relaying her experience playing as a girl on a boys soccer team.
"I learned to play tougher and earn my keep and it prepared me for life in a special way for which I am extremely grateful. ... This glass ceiling that you are trying to replace was shattered over 25 years ago. Let's not go back in time. Rest assured that I am willing to stand behind these girls as someone did for me many years ago. Not to mention, it's the right thing to do as Catholics. They are 10-year-old children. They have a lifetime of disappointments ahead of them; let's not create an unnecessary one now."
In a reply to Costa's email, Donovan said he understood her frustration and anger, but the facts are their roster is illegal per league guidelines, it was reported by another program and the proper protocols must now be followed. Donovan did not respond to a request for comments on the decision.
In league rules obtained by NJ Advance Media, there is no mention of whether the teams in the St. John's team's division - the JV black league - can or cannot be coed, though other divisions are mentioned as strictly boys or girls teams.
The girls have played with the boys for this long because there were not enough interested girls their same age to form a separate team, the parents say. In the Kenilworth case, the Phillips are facing the same issue of a lack of interest and no team for their daughter to join other than the boys team. When told about the boys sticking up for the girls at St. John's, Scott Phillips said "that's what teamwork is all about."
"That team should be commended, the coaches should be commended and the parents should be commend for raising kids like that," he said when reached Friday.
And what will happen next year? If the girls can't get enough girls their age to play, they would be without a team or forced to play for another parish in the league, parents said. But they cannot continue with the boys they've always played with.
"They're kids and all they wanted to do was play," said Rob Martel. "This is adults that couldn't figure out how to let the kids play two more games. This isn't the WNBA or NBA. ... They're just trying to get better, and I think they got better today."
Jessica Remo may be reached at jremo@njadvancemedia.com. Follow her on Twitter @JessicaRemoNJ. Find NJ.com on Facebook.