Start with a Story

A new client told me, "I know it's important to use stories, it's just that I don't have any."

I told her, "We ALL have stories. Stories are simply the intriguing things that happen to and around us."

She came back with, "But what if I'm not good at telling stories?"

I told her, "That's good. I don't believe in telling stories, I believe in reliving stories, putting ourselves back in the scene and re-enacting what happened so it comes alive for us and our readers and listeners."

She said, "Okay, is there some kind of step-by-step template I can follow to do this?"

There is. Here's an example of how to W.W.W.A.V.E. your stories - on the page, on the stage and online - so it feels as if people are right there with you and it's happening right now.

Several summers ago, I was on book deadline and spending way too much time being a desk potato. One afternoon, after spending hours on my manuscript, I thought, "ENOUGH."

I got up, grabbed my swim gear, and went pool shopping in my community. I drove by a pool I hadn't seen before, hung a U, and parked under a leafy tree.

As soon as I walked in and saw the mushroom-shaped water fountain, I realized I’d found the family pool. The place was packed with kids splashing and playing "Marco... Polo..." (It did my heart good to know kids still play Marco Polo.)

I found the only open chaise lounge and settled in next to a woman who was watching her three young kids play in the pool.

Just then, a man in a business suit walked in the gate from the parking lot. His kids saw him, bounded out of the pool and ran to greet him, yelling "Daddee, Daddee."

He hugged them, (wet suits and all), came over to give his wife a peck on the cheek, and then headed back to the locker room to change into his swim suit. 

A moment later, he jumped in the pool with his kids. They were diving off his shoulders and proudly showing him the swim strokes they’d learned in their lessons. 

It was a scene right out of a Norman Rockwell painting.

All of a sudden, he looked up at his wife and said, almost in a state of wonder, “Hon, why don’t we make this our default? Why don’t we meet at the pool every night after work?”

I have to admit, I held my breath. I looked at her, thinking, “Please say yes.”

She thought about it for a moment, smiled and said simply, “Why don’t we?”

And just like that, in five seconds, they adopted a new default. Instead of “Get up, go to work, come home,” it was now “Get up, go to work, go to the pool, come home.” 

Who knows, that family may always remember that summer as the one they played in the pool every night after work. Perhaps I'm being a Pollyanna about this, but maybe they will always think back to that summer as the time everything was right with their world.

So, what's this got to do with stories?

As soon as that happened, I knew it was Story Gold. Story Gold is any real-life experience that shows a shift that could illustrate a point we want to make.

If we're lucky enough to experience something that catches our attention, it will probably capture our audience's attention.

As communicators, first we're grateful to be gifted with a moment that get our eyebrows up, then we figure out how to integrate it into an upcoming written or spoken communication.

For example, imagine you're concerned about the health and wellness of your employees and want them to become more physically active. 

You could warn them about the dangers of sitting for hours at at a time and cite research that shows being sedentary is as bad as smoking cigarettes. That might come across as a lecture.

If instead you start with a true story of someone who replaced being sedentary with being active and how that changed their life - for good -which do you think will resonate more?

From now on, understand people are more likely to be listen to real-life examples they can relate to than well-intended advice that makes them feel "shoulded" on.

True stories give people a Socratic opportunity to reflect, ("Hmmm, that's how I feel") and make up their own mind they want to do this differently. They motivate people to change a belief or behavior because they want to, not because they're being told to.

From now on, instead of explaining what you mean, W.W.W.A.V.E. an example that shows how someone else has already successfully dealt with this. Here's how to do that.

W = WHERE and WHEN:  Start with WHERE to put people THERE. Put people in the scene with enough sensory detail so they can picture it, so they feel they're standing right next to you and it's happening right now. What did it look like? Smell like? Feel like? Sound like? They don't need a date like "It was 1998." They need a mind picture so they know if you were 30,000 feet up in the air on a plane or you woke up in the middle of the night.

W = WHO:  Describe the individual(s) involved so people can see them and their mood. Are they sad, mad? Happy, excited? If you want people to CARE about your CAREacters, flesh them out so people have a "feel" for them. Did he have steam coming out of his ears? Did she plop down in a chair, exhausted? Were you flustered and tongue-tied?

W =WHAT WAS SAID: Your story must have re-enacted dialogue or it's not a story. When you re-live what was said with comma/quotes “(i.e., “He said, “Why don't we change our default.” She said, ”Why don't we?”) we feel we’re right in the middle of the conversation.

A = ADVERSITY: What was the challenge, the dark night of the soul? Where did you lose faith or fail? Why did cynics, nay-sayers say this wouldn't work? Integrate "Hero Journey" conflict so your story has teeth and doesn't come across as kumbaya, rainbows, too perfect.

V = VICTORY: What is the lesson-learned, the AHA where everything comes together and suddenly makes sense? It doesn't have to be a happy ending, but every story needs a resolution or a "moral of the story" so it serves a purpose and the audience gets the point. 

E - EMOTIONAL CONTEXT: This is where you step out of the story and hook and hinge it back to the audience so it's relevant for them. How do you feel about what happened? Are you grateful for because it made you a stronger, better, healthier person? Did it turn you into a spokesperson for this issue, a woman on a mission for this cause?

So, what is a communication you're preparing?

1. What is the main point you want to get across? What change do you want people to make? What action do you want them to take?

2. How will you illustrate that point with a true story that shows how you or someone else has already been there, done that successfully?

3. How will you W.W.W.A.V.E. that example so you put people in the scene and they feel it is happening right here, right now?

4. How will you HOOK & HINGE the key words in your story/point back to your audience with three different YOU questions to make your story their story?

Starting today, keep your antenna up for the intriguing things that happen to or around you - and how you could re-enact that real-life situation in an upcoming communication so people identify with it and are self-motivated to change as a result of it.

That's how you create meaningful, two-way communications and connections.

And that's the purpose of all communication, to connect, always to connect.

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Want help crafting your story? Check out Sam Horn's consulting services.