Maybe you’ve tried it all before. You’ve poured out his drinks. You’ve locked up the liquor. You’ve emptied the bank accounts or his pockets. You’ve begged, pleaded, reasoned and given great arguments as to why he should stop. You’ve become the best lawyer, with the most persuasive arguments, and you don’t even have a law degree.
But nothing has worked.
Is it possible to make your alcoholic loved one stop drinking?
That is a question asked over and over again by countless loved ones of alcoholics over centuries.
You might be thinking, if only he or she loved me more, the drinking would stop.
Let me take a quote by ABC news anchor, Elizabeth Vargas, in her 20/20 interview on her alcoholism. I’m paraphrasing but she said, “I would die for my children. I love my children. But I couldn’t stop drinking for them.”
Nothing you can say or do will make your alcoholic loved one stop drinking. He has to come to the realization himself that he needs to get help and go into recovery.
But don’t lose hope. There are things you can do. The things you can do may be indirect ways of helping your alcoholic loved one, but they can and do help.
- Stop enabling. Please read my article on enabling and how to stop. http://alcoholicloved1.blogspot.com/2016/11/10-ways-to-stop-enabling-your-alcoholic.html
- Get help for yourself. Get counseling with a therapist who is educated in addiction. Go to an Al-Anon meeting and get a sponsor. Read as much as you can on recovery for families and friends of alcoholics.
- Get educated. Learn all you can about the disease of alcoholism and about recovery. Attend a few open AA meetings to hear stories of recovering alcoholics.
- Have hope. Alcoholics can and do get better. Prayers, hope and positive talk and affirmations all help.
- Surround yourself with loving people Make sure you’re with people who love you unconditionally and are considered “safe” people.
- Help educate others about the disease of alcoholism and help lift common misconceptions about the disease and who they are.
- Be loving and kind. You most certainly cannot control another person’s actions but you can control yours. How you treat others reflects who you are.
Wishing you light, love and blessings,
Michelle
Michelle Fondin, Author of Help! I Think My Loved One Is an Alcoholic: A Survival Guide for Lovers, Family and Friends (available on Amazon & Audible, December 2, 2016) & of The Wheel of Healing with Ayurveda: An Easy Guide to a Healthy Lifestyle (New World Library, 2015)
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