How to Avoid Overusing Your Networking Connections

By Robin Madell

One of the best ways to create job opportunities for yourself is to tap your professional network. Whether you rely on online contacts through social sites like LinkedIn and Facebook or you count colleagues and industry peers as your network—or both—there’s no denying that network connections can be an invaluable resource for expanding your career options and opening doors.

But as with most situations, too much of a good thing can backfire. If you reach out to the same people in your network repeatedly with asks, it’s possible to wear out your welcome and damage your professional reputation instead of improving your prospects.

How to Maintain Your Network Connections

FlexJobs asked an informal panel of five executive coaches and HR experts for their advice on how to avoid overusing your network connections. Here’s what they had to say.

— Focus on Building Relationships

“People are good at smelling desperation, so if you only reach out when you need a new job opportunity or introduction, don’t expect a great return. People want to feel valued, not used. The key to making the most of your network is to build relationships with them. Send updates about what you’ve been up to, and ask them to share the same. Share valuable information that may benefit them.

Think of a 3 to 1 ratio. For every three emails where you share or offer something, send one email with an ask. No time to build a relationship? Ask yourself how to build a larger network. Try new avenues of meeting people, like LunchClub, teaching a webinar, asking to be part of a panel, etc. And continue building existing relationships.”

—Lori Dernavich, Leadership Development Advisor and Executive Coach, Lori Dernavich, LLC

— Prioritize Learning and Engagement

“I built a curriculum that teaches others how to build a relationship with themselves and others for career development and growth. It redefines networking as connecting with a formal definition being an authentic attempt to learn or assist someone. With this in mind, I recommend two strategies to avoid overusing your network.

The first strategy is to prioritize learning from your network. Learning to engage with your connections through relevant questions and active listening is a great way to build and maintain great relationships. These actions demonstrate a genuine interest in others that feels like a genuine connection worth maintaining.

The second strategy is to also prioritize assisting your network. If an opportunity arises where your expertise and experience can assist someone with an issue, offer it and/or recommend a resource that can, if possible. Adding value to your network creates a connection of mutual benefit that will not feel one-sided.”

—Michelle Enjoli, Career Development Coach and Speaker, CONNECT

— Connect With Intent

“As a networking expert with over 15 years of experience in the field, I believe the key to avoiding overusing your network connections is to be strategic and selective in whom you reach out to. It’s important to have a clear purpose in mind when reaching out to a connection, and to make sure that your request is relevant to their expertise and interests.

Another important aspect of networking is to be mindful of the balance between giving and receiving. It’s important to offer value to your connections, whether that be through offering your own expertise or making introductions to others who might be able to help them. At the same time, it’s important to be gracious and appreciative when others offer their help or resources to you.

Lastly, it’s crucial to regularly nurture and maintain your network. This can be done through regular check-ins and communication, as well as by making an effort to connect with new people and expand your network. By taking a proactive and respectful approach to networking, you can avoid overusing your connections and build long-lasting, mutually beneficial relationships.”

—Michael Samuel, Vice President, HR and Career Consultant, CEOMichaelHR

— Create Mutual Value

“Strong relationships are built on creating mutual value. This requires that you give as much or more than you receive in any relationship. There is joy and fulfillment experienced with giving as well! To avoid overusing your network connections, be sure you are balancing the giving with the asking.

Examples of giving may be to share a personal or professional update, link to an article or webinar they might like, offer up a connection, etc. Although no one is keeping score on the value equation, balance is important to avoid relationship burnout.”

—Taura Prosek, Executive Consultant and Career Coach, Stewart Leadership

— Reciprocate

“Everything is about balance. Often, you will find the best job opportunities through networking, so I highly recommend it to my coaching clients. Still, you want to ensure that when you network, you don’t overuse your networking contacts.

How do you find that balance? Ask yourself, ‘How often do I reach out to my contacts? Once a week or once in a blue moon? For what reason do I reach out to my networking contacts? Is it only when I need something or do I reach out at other times just to stay connected?’

Your intent is important. People sense when they’re being used. You know the feeling yourself. When you connect with someone, you reach out to them to maintain your relationship, not because you need something from them but because you want to stay connected. The key word here is ‘relationship.’

When you see your network connections as relationships—that is, people not resources—you will never overuse them. In sum, frequency and quality of the networking defines how it will be perceived. My favorite recommendation regarding networking is to focus on what you can give, not what you can get. Follow that maxim and you won’t abuse your network contacts.”

—Laura Barker, Career Coach, Laura Barker Coaching

Network Your Way to New Opportunities

In addition to tapping your professional network, you can use FlexJobs to connect with new opportunities. We offer members exclusive access to our jobs database, which is updated every day with remote and flexible jobs in over 50 career categories. Take the tour to learn more about the benefits of a FlexJobs membership!

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