Have you ever really thought about your parenting style? Most of us tend to parent like our parents did. Sometimes we think we are parenting one way but the reality is something else.
It benefits yourself as a parent, and especially your teens, to discover what your parenting style is. The reason for that is it forces you to consider if you are leaning too far one way than another. It may reveal that you need a little more balance in your parenting.
I don’t think that anyone would argue that the best parent is one who is balanced. When you are balanced your teen’s world is set right. They are less likely to be confused and will feel more secure.
There are basically three styles of parenting. They are: authoritarian, permissive, and authoritative.
Authoritarian parenting is when you find a need to be in control. Parents who are authoritarian tend to be strict and rigid. There is little room for error and typically don’t allow children to question them. In other words, there is no democracy in this type of setting.
Permissive parenting is when control has been handed over to the children. They get to make their own decisions with very little input from the parents. There are no set boundaries and even when the child does something wrong there is little, if any, consequence to their actions.
Authoritative parenting is a balance between the other two styles. Children have expectations but they are also given reasons for why those expectations are in place. They are taught to take personal responsibility for their actions but may face consequences for wrong choices.
Which style sounds more like you? Think about how you’re teen feels about your parenting style. If you are authoritarian they may be afraid to tell you things. Don’t we want our teens to open up to us? They may feel like their lives are so controlled that the first moment they can break free, they are going to do it with a vengeance.
If you are permissive, your teens may feel afraid. They are given too much freedom and although it may appear they enjoy it, deep down inside they are not mature enough to handle that. They may also feel that you don’t really care as a parent.
A teen with an authoritative parent probably feels secure and comfortable in their world. They know that there are rules and expectations and they understand why they are in place. They may not always agree with them but they at least know what to expect. They appreciate being able to make some of their own choices and learning from their own mistakes. Yet they also appreciate that their parents are a soft place to land when their world crumbles.
Take some time to really think about your parenting style. Are there any changes you would like to make?
Image by: slate.com
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