Networking is a wonderful thing. The connections you make and friendships you establish in your professional life will power you through your career.
It's not just that the people you know will help you spot opportunities and get great jobs or clients, although that could easily happen.
Your network is good for much more than leads and advice during your job search or your business development projects. Your network of friends and associates is also your brain trust. They will give you good advice. They'll give you moral support, and you will do the same thing for them.
Watch on Forbes:
When I was an HR newbie 30 years ago I noticed how the higher-up managers around me always knew somebody they could call when they ran into a new and perplexing obstacle at work.
I would hear them say "I've got a buddy at Deloitte who knows a lot about that issue" and they'd call their friend at Deloitte and get expert advice on a complex topic in about twenty minutes.
"Dang, I need friends like that!" I thought to myself. I didn't know how to get friends like that. Gradually it dawned on me that I had to get out of my office and go meet new people if I wanted to have a brain trust like the ones my company's leaders had.
You need a network, too. It is part of your professional development and part of your flame-growing practice to get out of your office -- and your head -- at least a couple of times every month to shake up your thinking.
You can network over coffee, breakfast, a walk around the lake or at the library.
There is nothing like sitting down with a person you barely know or have known for years to talk about something different from the usual subjects that cycle through your brain.
Networking conversations will give you new insight and "Aha!s" that you might not get otherwise. You'll get the "Aha!s" when you're getting help with an issue on your plate, but you'll get them even more strongly when you're helping someone else sort through their issue.
Unfortunately, a lot of people misunderstand networking. They think networking is strictly transactional - an exchange of names and contact details. They miss the networking forest for the trees.
Networking is slow. Growing and cultivating your network is like planting and watering a garden. Over time, your patient care of the garden will pay off in bushels of tasty vegetables -- but you don't get to harvest the vegetables ten minutes after you plant seeds!
Here are the 10 deadly sins of networking -- avoid them! They will mark you as a "taker" and a person not to waste time with. That's not the reputation you want.
Sign up here to get top career advice delivered straight to your inbox every week.
1. Asking your friends for introductions to their friends -- and then immediately asking your new acquaintances to help you in your job search or make more introductions.
2. Adding people to your newsletter distribution list without permission.
3. Inviting someone for a "networking" coffee or lunch meeting and then bushwhacking them with a sales pitch.
4. Spamming people on LinkedIn.
5. Proposing coffee or lunch to with someone by saying "I want to pick your brain -- and I'll buy lunch!"
6. Stealing an introduction.
7. Sending an email message that obligates a friend or acquaintance to do something -- without asking their permission.
8. Asking for and receiving networking favors without acknowledging or reciprocating the favors.
9. Approaching every networking gathering or conversation as a sales opportunity.
10. Telling a networking contact "You should help me out -- us being friends, and all!"
You have to establish a trust level between yourself and a new person before you can ask them for help or an introduction.
The fact that you've met someone face-to-face at a networking event doesn't mean that you can add them to your newsletter distribution. You have to ask their permission first.
If you have something to sell, declare yourself when you extend a networking invitation so that your new acquaintance has an opportunity to say "thanks, but I'm not interested."
There's nothing wrong with selling, but you can't suggest a "networking" get-together and then dive into a sales pitch. If you do, expect people to stand up and walk out on you.
LinkedIn has products and services for marketers who want to reach LinkedIn users. Nobody wants to open their LinkedIn inbox and find marketing spam.
It is an insult to tell someone that you value their expertise as much as the price of their coffee or lunch.
If you'd like to meet Penelope Pitstop, a famous race car driver, you might ask yourself "Who do I know that also knows Penelope?" You might remember that your friend Peter Perfect knows Penelope well.
It would be polite to ask Peter "Would you be comfortable introducing me to Penelope?" It would be terribly impolite to steal an introduction by contacting Penelope directly and saying "You are good friends with Peter Perfect, and so am I -- we should meet!"
If you send your friend an email message introducing them to someone else you know and saying "You two should get together -- [my good friend] will help you any way they can!", you are a bad friend.
Real friends ask their friends "Would you possibly be able to help my friend, who would love have your advice? If you can, that's great. If you can't, I understand." Real friends wait for reply before they distribute free coupons for their friends' time and attention.
At the heart of networking are two things: trust, and gratitude.
The first thing to do when someone has helped you out is to thank them. Your 'thank you' may be more important than a referral fee.
When you put people first in your mind you build the glue that will keep your network healthy -- and keep you healthy, too.
Large and small business deals happen through networking every day. At the same time, you will never build a brain trust if you treat every relationship as a short-term lead-generation activity.
The underlying agreement that allows networking to happen at all is this: there is a higher place to connect with other people in the professional world than through a business transaction.
As you build your network you'll see that people in your corner can have a greater influence on your career than your own brains and hard work -- and not just because of their connections. Keep watering the garden and take the long view in your networking, and you'll be fine.
