The first time I made a frozen pizza, I was 11, and I left the cardboard on the bottom. The thing didn’t cook, and my entire family laughed at me for YEARS after. Jerks! Well now I’m a slightly more experienced home cook who continues to make stupid mistakes like that, but my frozen pizza game has gotten infinitely better. The base? Trader Joe’s Sicilian. Then I add Mulberry Street hot oil, anchovies, and chopped up garlic because apparently I don’t want to make out with anyone for the rest of my life.
But for a more inspirational take, let’s ask some chefs with restaurants and then a magazine editor:
Amul Cheese / Black Salt / Fresh Sprouts / Fresh Herbs / Honey
“If I must make a meal out of frozen pizza, I would add grated Amul (a processed but oh-so-delicious cheese from India) before baking. When baked and bubbling, I would sprinkle some black salt, then top it off with a mixture of fresh sprouts like pea shoots, and herbs like cilantro, basil, or oregano marinated in olive oil with a touch of lemon. Final finish: drizzle with a bit of honey. Guaranteed delicious.”
Chorizo / Pepperoncini / Marinated Mushrooms / Feta Cheese
“I rarely cook at home, maybe once a week, so it’s not uncommon for me to use items I have at my house to doctor up leftovers…in this case pizza. One thing that I pretty frequently have is Mexican chorizo—it adds so much flavor. Pickled pepperoncini’s are also a standard staple at my house, I use them all of the time. I would also probably add some marinated mushrooms, the kind that come in a jar with garlic and oil. Also, just so it’s not straight up spicy, I would add some feta cheese to finish it off.”
Garlic / Basil / Jalapeños / Red Pepper Flakes / Spicy Honey
"Fresh garlic on pizza can make a huge flavor difference; thinly slice fresh garlic and lay them on top of the pizza before it’s put in the oven. If the cooking time is too long and you’re worried about the garlic burning before the pizza is cooked through, you can also sauté the garlic in olive oil and drizzle the garlic-infused olive oil on the pizza after. Chopped up fresh basil or jalapeños are very tasty too. We also love spicy honey and crushed red pepper chili flakes to elevate any plain or pepperoni slice; you can also make a chili-infused olive oil as a drizzle or dipping sauce for the leftover crusts."
Prosciutto / Grilled Figs / Gorgonzola Cheese / Heirloom Tomatoes / Charred Radicchio
"To begin with, make sure you have a good quality frozen pizza. No amount of 'doctoring' will fix poor quality. Second, you will want to use toppings are strong, or intense in flavors. Any combination of these five ingredients would be great: thinly sliced and fried prosciutto, grilled figs, Gorgonzola cheese, sliced heirloom tomatoes, charred radicchio. Lastly, whatever you choose, always drizzle a high quality olive oil, and a sprinkle Maldon salt over the the pizza when it comes out of the oven."
Fennel / Red Onion / Olive Oil / Lots of other stuff
Okay, but yeah—if you're making frozen pizza, you can't NOT doctor it. This goes back to my days as a teenager when my mom would by Stouffer's French bread pizza and I'd bake 'em off after school in the toaster oven.
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These days, I favor Roberta's frozen pizza, which hit bubbly baked goodness in just five minutes at 450 degrees, directly on your oven grates. At the least, I always like to slice some fennel or red onion super thin and spread that over the pizza BEFORE it goes in the oven with a drizzle of good olive oil and sea salt.
Sometimes I'll blast the broiler at the end for 30 seconds so the onions or fennel or whatever gets some more color. This, along with the olive oil drizz, is a key step.
In summery months, I like to bake the pizza as is, and then when it comes out, I pile on a mess of baby arugula and halved cherry tomatoes, with a sprinkling of salt, a squirt of fresh lemon juice, and a hit of olive oil. Always, good olive oil—it resuscitates any frozen pizza.
I've also done the arugula thing but first layering it with some sheets of prosciutto. You can layer 'em on before you put it in the oven for crispness, or layer 'em on after for more of a fresh salad-y vibe with the arugula.
Oh, one more thing: For any pizza that leans spicy (because of pepperoni or chiles or whatever), I like to do the Roberta's thing and drizzle a little honey on it right when it comes out of the oven. Gives it a subtle sweetness to complement the salty spiciness.