Do It For You

I like to start every day with reading.

Daily 'Joy-Fuel'

I find early-morning reading is like 'breakfast' for my mind and it's nourishment for my spirit and general wellbeing. It's an essential element of what I call "joy-fuel" -- because it fuels my day, helping me to be intentional in my actions, while expanding my thinking. It's a way to ensure we're not just 'repeating' the days but, rather, we're making each one a new opportunity, as best we can.

Some days are harder than others, in that respect. Some, much easier. 

So much has to do with attitude and aptitude -- and leadership! Not others' leadership, but our own.

I'm talking about leadership that is not a function of position per se, but rather, leadership that is about personal choice, decision and action.

In other words, if we have position, our leadership accountability is both personal and positional. But, even when/if we do not hold position; we are still responsible and empowered. I find that marvellously edifying -- and freeing, too.

Choosing Empowerment

Choosing empowerment; that is, selecting to be or become engaged (vs. waiting for someone or something else to engage us) sounds great! However, it's particularly hard when world events, current circumstances, other people's behaviours, and/or our own results (or lack of), instead, generate frustration or angst of all sorts. 

Not interested in spending my time hand-wringing, when I begin to feel that kind of negative momentum start to build, my 'go-to' strategy is to redouble my efforts in terms of the quality of energy and impact of my own actions.

It comes down to this: in the face of potentially feeling an increase in 'powerlessness', the question for us as leaders is: "How do we empower ourselves, and better yet, how do we extend that to others?" I'm asking myself, "What can I do to make an impact in my little corner of the world, to uplift, enrich, inspire or otherwise elevate?" 

Intentional Leadership

If you practice this kind of intentional leadership, if you're one who works hard to encourage, then you know it takes energy!

For me, today, the usual options of 'acts of kindness', 'help others', 'be a voice of good' -- which usually send me soaring into realms of possibility -- were feeling oddly hollow. Like putting one's ear to a seashell, I could hear the faint whisper of the ocean, but I was totally missing the experience.

Hitting Pay Dirt!

I needed a different kind of jump-start. I began reading one of my books, by author Neil Pasricha: "The Happiness Equation". It's an important reminder of the cause and effect dynamic in play between happiness, action and circumstances, events or results.

On p.43, I hit pay dirt! The following excerpt is 'an old joke', shared by the author:

An old man enjoyed sitting on his front porch every day until the elementary school bell rang and neighborhood kids walking past his porch stopped to taunt him from the sidewalk.

Finally, the old man came up with a plan.

He offered the children a dollar each if they'd return the next day and yell their insults. They were excited, so they returned, yelled their insults, and he paid each of them a dollar.

He then said he'd like them to come back the next day and yell their insults, but he could pay them only 25 cents. 

So they returned, yelled their insults, and he paid them a quarter each.

Before they left, he said that he could only afford to pay them a penny on Wednesday. "Forget it," they said. "That's not worth it."

And they never bothered him again.

3 Leadership Take-Aways

As I reflected on this joke (which is apparently 'an old one' but new to me), I discovered three leadership take-aways:

1. The first take-away has us think about what we're rewarding -- both in ourselves and with others. I was immediately reminded of a popular Native American parable: 

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. 

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Take-away #1: The thoughts you 'feed' and the actions you 'reward': they are the ones that grow. Leadership is about choice. We always have a choice.

2. The second take-away in the above 'joke' has us think about the extent to which motivation is extrinsic or intrinsic, and why that matters.

Science and psychology are discovering that when motivation is tied to external results, we'll often fail to reach our true potential. This is because we either:

• Taint our actions towards how they will be perceived or rewarded (in other words, fall into the trap of people-pleasing); or,
• Stop too soon (the reward's been reached but our potential is still well beyond); or,
• We simply quit when/if the reward is no longer "worth it."

In "The Happiness Equation", Neil Pasricha shares some of his own experiences of the negative effects on performance, when motivation and the pursuit of happiness are based on external indicators or rewards. Simply put, he says, "it was exhausting."

(There's also some excellent perspective on this in Daniel Pink's book: "DRiVE", which speaks to three core pillars of motivation: mastery, autonomy, and purpose.)

For us, as leaders, whether of self or with others, we're reminded that engagement has to be an intrinsic matter, for it to be real and lasting.

Take-away #2: Real engagement comes from within and is our own responsibility. As told in The Happiness Equation: " Do It For You."

3. The third take-away is a bit of a lesson in 'selfishness'.

'Do It For You' can sound very self-absorbed or self-serving. For those of us who see our leadership as being in service and contribution to others' wellbeing, this may seem like a contrarian way to think.

It is.

But, it's also not.

It simply means that we must think of it like heeding the emergency instructions we get before we take flight to any destination -- 'in case of emergency, put your own oxygen mask on first before assisting others.' For all you 'difference-makers' out there -- and you know who you are -- this is a tough, albeit totally essential practice!

And, it's one I'd like to take one step further because it's a painful lesson; and, one in which it's all too easy to repeatedly earn a failed grade (I know because I have)! It's this: self-care is often too late when only done in the case of 'emergency'. 

If the only time we pause to learn, take time to read, make room for balance and wellness is when you're sick, been fired, or facing some other type of crisis -- it's better late than never, but it's not good leadership. 

Here's what I've discovered.

Leadership; good, solid, well-balanced, meaningful leadership requires us to lead ourselves first, and well. I've further discovered that we do that best when we are purpose-driven. The value of having a well-defined purpose is priceless, because it causes us to finally find balance between inner, other and outer care -- service -- learning -- and, -- growth.

Take-away #3: "Do It for You" is a 'me-first' kind of experience. But, that's not based in selfishness. It's not even based in self-care. It's based in purpose-driven motivation that creates intentional, congruent action.

3 Go-Forward Questions

To sum up, reading this 'joke' today served as a powerful reminder of what makes for successful life and leadership -- with three go-forward thoughts and related questions, to guide our actions:

1) Choose your focus (in both thought and action).

Am I being intentional?

2) Do it for you (let go of external markers of success or extrinsic reward).

Who or what am I doing this for?

3) Make your life and leadership 'on purpose' (because when we have strong, well-defined vision and purpose, we truly learn to balance self-, other-, and world- care).

Is this 'on purpose'?

That's when you make a difference!

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You can help others grow. Which take-away, or something else, most resonated with you, and why? Add to the conversation below and/or please do share this post.

Need momentum? Here's a post + infographic, to help us think about what to stop and what to start, when making a difference matters and it's time to take action.

"Your Meaningful Vision, Fulfilled."

Think Anew! More posts in my online blog/resource centre.