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The Struggle is Real!

As a stay-at-home mom, I am always looking for new, fun things to do with my boys, especially in the summer. A few years ago I decided to sign our family up for a swim club membership. My sons had just turned four and one and I had grand visions of what our days would be like at the local pool club. We would go early, stay late and spend lots of time swimming and enjoying our summer days.

In my excitement, I ignorantly repressed memories of the YMCA mommy and me swim class disaster of 2011, our challenges each night of washing the boys during bath time without meltdowns, and the fact that both of my sons pretty much avoided anything water-related at all costs. No! This was going to be completely different. This would be fun!

Long story short, it was Not. Fun. At. All.

That first summer no one got remotely close to stepping foot in the pool. We spent most of our time sitting on hot vinyl chairs in the baby pool area, sweating and miserable. I had paid a good chunk of change for us to play in the club sandbox and eat junk food from the snack bar. I was frustrated and sad. The reality didn’t come close to the amazing vision I had created in my head.

When the next summer rolled around, determined to help my sons through their fear of the water, I decided to renew our membership . My husband thought I was crazy! I thought if I signed them up for swim lessons things would be different.

Wrong again.

They refused to go in. I’ll spare you the details, but it was not pretty.

A Shift in Mindset

Even though the pool was still a challenge, some things were different from the previous year. I was much more educated about high sensitivity and really began to develop a better understanding of why my highly sensitive boys were unhappy at the pool. I started trying out things to help them enjoy the pool at their own pace and on their own terms. By the end of that second summer at the pool, my then 5-year-old son was starting to enjoy walking around in the 2 foot pool and my 2-year-old would occasionally go in the baby pool. Baby steps, but progress, none the less.

Fast forward three years and a lot of practice later, both of my sons love the pool. I practically have to drag my 8-year-old out of the water when it’s time to leave. So what changed? How do you get your child to go from loathing the pool to loving it? It is done with understanding, acceptance, patience, time, and trial and error.

Why your Highly Sensitive Child Struggles with the Pool

highly sensitive child pool First of all, you need to be able to understand your child’s fears and challenges with the pool and swimming in order to help them. Think about what it feels like for them when they go to a pool. The moment they enter the pool setting, their senses are attacked.

There is a good amount of visual chaos that takes place in this environment. There are children running around, crowds of people in and around the pool and various activities going on at the same time. Not too mention a huge, daunting body of water at the center of it all.

Second there is the noise. With a large amount of people gathered together, noise will follow. There are the sounds of children yelling to each other, laughing and splashing. There may also be the added noise of music being played, adults chatting with each other, lifeguard whistles being blown and announcements being broadcast over a loud speaker.

Third you have the smells that come along with this setting. There is the strong smell of pool chlorine, suntan lotion, and possibly food cooking at a snack bar. Plus your child may also have textile struggles with bathing suit materials, suntan lotion and flotation devices on their bodies.

Whew! This is all BEFORE your child even gets close to the water!

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Getting Wet

If your child is able to get through ALL this, then begins the challenges of entering the water. They have to be able to handle walking barefoot across hot, bumpy concrete, getting into chilly water, and be okay with children accidentally splashing and getting them wet before they are ready.

scared child pool

Then if they are somehow able to do all this, they still have the added challenge of how their body feels as it moves through water, the sensation of wearing a wet bathing suit and having wrinkly fingers and toes post-swim.

Are those meltdowns at the pool starting to make sense now?

When you really break down all the sensory input that comes with pools and swimming, it is easy to see that there could be many factors contributing to their struggles. Highly sensitive kids like to feel in control of their environment and this can be very difficult at the pool. Now that you know why your highly sensitive child struggles with the pool, let’s talk about how to help them feel more comfortable in this environment with the tips below.

10 Tips to Make your Trip to the Pool More Pleasant

Now that you understand some of the reasons why your sensitive child may dislike the the pool and swimming, here are some helpful tips to make trips to the pool much more enjoyable.

1. Go at off peak times

If you belong to a pool or swim club try your best to go at off-peak times like right when it opens or during dinner/evening hours.

2. Sit away from the crowd

Find a place away from the main pool deck or take some chairs and set up in an area away from crowds. Having a quiet home base where your child can go when they need to recharge is very important.

3. Pick the right suntan lotion

If you feel like you are wrestling an octopus every time you attempt to put suntan lotion on your screaming child, you are not alone! Lotion of any type can feel uncomfortable to HSCs. My boys have always struggled with this. They do not like the wet, sticky sensation of lotion.

After many meltdowns and failed lotion attempts at the pool when they were young, I discovered Babyganic Suncreen Sticks. These are AMAZING! They go on dry, are scent-free and provide great coverage. From the time my youngest was one until four years old, I used these face sticks all over his body. It was the only thing he would let me put on him. Today, I still use the stick for their faces, but use Neutrogena Beach Defense spray for their bodies. This was another great find, because it has a great smell that both of my boys can tolerate, unlike some of the other sprays.

4. Goggles

These are a must if your child hates getting their face wet. My boys wore theirs long before they were close to going underwater. It did take a day or two to get used to the feeling of them on their faces, but once they realized water couldn’t get in their eyes from splashing children, they never looked back. We have tried out a bunch, but these are our favorite goggles. They are durable and long-lasting. My son has had the same pair for two summers! Goggles have really helped both boys feel more secure and enjoy water play more.

5. Pool toy props

Pool toys have played a huge role in easing both of my sons’ fears of water over the past few years. These props have helped provide comfort and have been a great distraction from the fact that they were getting wet. The Louie Lobster Claw Catcher, Squid Divers and watering can pool toys have been our go to toys for taking the pressure off entering the pool the past few years. They have so much fun playing with these toys that they stop thinking about how cold the water is or how wet they are getting.

6. Short visits to the pool

There is no need to stay all day. Start slow. Go for an hour and see how it goes. Maybe pack a lunch and let your child take in their surroundings while eating before going near the water.

7. Private swim lessons

sensitive child swim lessons Yes, these can be expensive, but if you can work it out financially, they are definitely worth the investment. Even if you just do a few classes to help them get oriented with the water. If you belong to a pool, often college lifeguards will offer them at a reasonable price. HSCs don’t do well in groups to begin with, but when you incorporate the added challenge of water and the pressure to perform, it is a recipe for a major meltdown or complete shutdown. Since my HSCs were extremely nervous and overwhelmed in water, they needed individual attention with an instructor who could work with them one-on-one. I am sure that many of you have or will find the same to be true.

8. Heated pool

This often isn’t an option, but if your child is really struggling with swimming pools, see if you can find a swim place with a heated pool. While our swim club is not heated, I signed up my boys for swim lessons over the winter at a facility that had heated pools. This made the transition from land to water sooooo much easier.

9. Bring one (or more) changes of clothes

When my youngest son was three, he had started enjoying going in the pool, but he hated the feeling of a wet bathing suit sticking to him when he got out. It caused him so much distress. That year I ended up packing 3 swim suits and a pair of regular clothes when we went to the pool, so that he could change each time he got out. Yes, it was annoying, but knowing he could change after he got out of the pool made him much more willing to give the water a try. Now at five, his wet bathing suit is no longer a challenge for him.

10. Be patient

A pool is a place ripe with sensory stimulation. Give your HSC time to take it all in and process everything. Don’t expect them to jump right in and love it. Odds are they won’t. Be patient and go at their pace. It may take weeks, months or even years before they are fully ready to enjoy the water.

Dive In!

You now have a good understanding as to why your sensitive child struggles with swimming and the pool, as well as some strategies to help them enjoy it more. If your child fears water, don’t avoid it all together. Dive in and help them explore it at their own pace. This may mean starting with sitting near a pool and observing or just dipping a toe in. My hope is that with patience, understanding and guidance from you, your child will be able to discover the joys of the water and swimming when they are ready.