One of the questions I am asked the most is, “How do you do it? How do you balance work life and home life?” The honest answer is, “I don’t.”
I don`t do it all. No one can. For years I battled the guilt of not being able to do it all, especially during the period of my life that I was a single working mom trying to also be a good CEO of a company that was growing quickly. The very word “balance” caused me tremendous stress because it felt like an unattainable dream that I would never be able to achieve.
Then follow that stress up with guilt. Oh, the guilt. All working parents have the added burden of the never-ending guilt. When you are at work you feel guilty for not being at home. When you are at home you feel guilty for not being at work. So basically you live in a 24-hour guilt cycle that never ends. Until one day when you finally accept the fact that you will never be able to do it all – but that is actually OK! It’s not about doing it all, it’s about doing the best you can with what you’ve got. So, rather than constantly feeling guilty and stressed in your pursuit of balance, turn your focus toward doing the very best you can do every day with the time you have.
Here are 5 ideas to help you bring a little better balance into your life:
SCHEDULE DOWN TIME
An uncle, who was also an entrepreneur, told me when I started my very first business that I needed to block out time on my calendar for my family up front or I would never have it open. He was right, but unfortunately it took me a lot of years of my life to realize how right he was. I never blocked out the family time, and work slowly overtook my life because I wasn’t doing anything to make family time as scheduled as business meetings were. I would block off an hour lunch meeting with someone for business, so why not block off an hour dinner with my family at night?
It took me years and many hard lessons to figure out how critical it was for me to schedule my family time as carefully as I schedule my work day. The important thing is that you treat your family as if they matter just as much as the most important business person in the world, and don’t miss your scheduled meetings you have with them. Block out dinner on your calendar. Block out Saturday family events. Always keep Sunday as a sacred time with your family. Block out date night if you are married. Block out a once-a-month father/daughter or mother/son date with your child. Put these things on your calendar in advance of each month and then treat them with the importance of any other meeting. Schedule that time with them. They need you.
CUT OUT THE THINGS THAT DON’T ADD VALUE TO YOUR LIFE
There are a lot of things we waste time on in life. Television, Internet, video games, etc. I know because I am as guilty as many of you by allowing these things to overtake my family time. Cut it out! That is my advice. I have to remind myself of this often when I find myself on a Saturday looking at a cute pair of shoes on Zappos.com when I could be out playing with my daughter. If you have distractions in your life that take too much time away from family then put stickers on the TV or computer or video game console that ask you “what matters most in my life?” It won’t take long for that to hit you in the gut. Trust me. I have tried it. It’s a good way to pull yourself away from wasting time when you could be spending it on quality time with your family.
AVOID NEGATIVE PEOPLE THAT SUCK YOUR ENERGY
People in your life that gossip, are negative, complain, or vent can be a huge drain on your energy. Avoid them! They will take up your time and leave absolutely no redeeming value to your universe. Don’t give them two seconds of your day because if you give two seconds they will take two hours. If you run into one of them, or they text you, or
OUTSOURCE THOSE TASKS THAT YOU CAN
The day I discovered online grocery shopping was a good day for me. Getting groceries was a tough task, especially when I was a single mom. When I found out I could order groceries online and for a few dollars have them delivered to my front door I was thrilled. A few dollars saved me hours of time in a store. There are a lot of similar little things that can free up your day a so you can have a more time with your family. Some other good finds are local dairies, such as Winder Dairy in Utah, for milk delivery to your home and dry cleaning services that let you bring your clothes to the office and they will pick them up for you.
TAKE FIVE FOR YOU
In all the talk about work/life balance we forget that part of balance is taking time for yourself. It is the very first thing that always goes – you. Women are especially bad at this. We are so worried about everyone else that we forget about us. Everyone – men and women – need a little time each day just for them. Time to read a little, time to take a hot bath once in a while, time to swing on a swing and look at the garden. No matter what you choose to do with your five minutes, it needs to be time that is just for you. Meditate. Write in a journal. Pray. Just take that time for you – it will make you a better person to the ones you love, trust me.
I hope these ideas will help a little bit. This topic of balance is one I have struggled with my entire life and I certainly haven’t figured it out, yet. But I am getting a little better at it all the time and that is what is important.
~Amy Rees Anderson (follow my daily blogs on twitter @amyreesanderson)
