By Rohit Rajput
"I'm not sure how this coaching will help"; "What are we going to do?" "It might just be a waste of our time." These were words said not by a middle-level manager, but a successful CXO I was asked to coach for a future top management role.
Over the years I've learnt not be surprised when most high performers respond in such a manner at the start of a coaching process. I recognise now that an important part of success in coaching comes from helping these high performers learn to help themselves. In the movie Jerry Maguire, Tom Cruise, a sports agent, makes a plea to his temperamental and only client Rod Tidwell, played by Cuba Gooding Jr to change his ways, play nicer with his team mates and forget about "show me the money" while on the football field. Ina scene, Maguire tells Tidwell, "Help me Help you." This should be said more often in the corporate world and especially by coaches.
Why agree for a coaching?
In the recent years, executive coaching has gained widespread acceptance in India and globally as a successful way to develop leaders. This helps you, as a leader, get the one on one support needed to help you win in roles that are complicated.
In the past, the selection of a coach was done through word of mouth and client selection was as important as coach selection. This essentially made the coaching process a decision where everyone elected had a commitment to getting results.
But now, if the upper management has asked you to get coaching it's not an act of volition and requires effort to build commitment for results. This means, a coach has to invest greater time and effort in building chemistry, credibility and clarity in the coaching process. The sponsor has to invest more time in clarity of goals, provide support and have periodic check-ins with the coach. In effect, the process evolves into a partnership.
How to get the most out of coaching?
Bust the superhero myth
Venus Williams is a force in women's professional tennis. A natural born winner if ever there was one. With her accomplishments and athleticism in an individual sport, it's easy to believe that her success is a story of individual accomplishment alone. One year, as I watched Venus Williams give her victory speech on TV after one of her many Wimbledon victories, I was struck by the number of people she thanked. They had contributed to her sustained success in the cut-throat world of professional tennis. As she recognised the members of her support team, I realised that even in an individual sport there are no superheroes. In short, "you can't do it alone."
As a leader you're going to need an entire ecosystem to make you successful: from a team that is rooting for you, to a boss who encourages you, to a coach who can challenge, keep you on track and be a sounding board. So, it's ok to get the help you need to be an even bigger success.
Why me?
It's easy to feel you're being singled out while the others in your organization are let off. Remember, you were picked because someone wants you to get better. You are a winner and others may be lost causes or non-starters in the coaching process. So appreciate the fact that you've been selected for a coaching process.
Working with a coach means you are in the limelight and both your successes and failures will be public, but that's what signing up for leadership is all about. People will be always observing you and taking cues on how you act on basis of that. You get to make this transition with a coach who is neutral and is there to help you win. There are only upsides to the coaching process, at the very least you figure out what you were doing was great, or you learn something better!
Advertising the gifts of imperfection
In organizations that don't have a culture of coaching high performers there is a lot of secrecy to the coaching process manifesting itself in various requests like, "Can we meet outside the office for our sessions?" and "Let's not tell his team that he is in a coaching process." However, what works is often the counter intuitive approach to this secrecy. What Marshall Goldsmith calls "advertising" the coaching process.
Marshall says, "Your odds improve considerably if you tell people you're trying to change, the odds improve again when you tell everyone how hard you are trying and repeat the message week after week". Your co-workers know that no one is perfect, so stop pretending to be one and stop alienating them. Talking about what you want to change is an important component of self-awareness and emotional intelligence is the hallmark of great leaders.
Choose your goals
Many have been sold the idea of coaching as a panacea for their mentoring and succession challenges. But most sponsors who've not worked with a coach don't really understand what they are getting themselves into. The honest but sometimes unpleasant chat that they need to have with you about what needs to change is often delegated to the coach armed with a diagnostic survey. This is the simple, "it's better if he hears it from a neutral party", approach. While I agree with that sentiment in part, the fact is that when the sponsor does not sit with the coach and you to set your goals, the odds of success drop dramatically.
Your odds of success in coaching improve when you choose the right goals. As leaders move up the organisation, people stop telling them what they really need to hear and start telling them what they want to hear. Figure out what you want to work on -- get the stakeholders involved and ask them for ideas. If you really want to get it right don't just stop at the 'what' to change -- get your stake holders to define how to change. Co-create your action plan with them. It won't be easy to get your teams to be candid in this process. This is where the coach can create the right environment, where the team can speak without fear of the messenger being shot down.
Acceptance
You can't change the past, but unless you let go of it, you can't move forward either. The feedback you've got is a perfect outcome of everything you had to go through to rise to this level in your career. You don't have to like the feedback; you just have to accept it. As eminent psychologist, Dr Nathaniel Branden said, "Suppose you feel you cannot accept some fact about yourself. Then own your refusal to accept. Own the block. Embrace it fully. And watch it begin to disappear. The principal is this: Begin where you are - accept that. Then change and growth become possible."
(The writer is managing consultant, at Korn Ferry Hay Group.)
"I'm not sure how this coaching will help"; "What are we going to do?" "It might just be a waste of our time." These were words said not by a middle-level manager, but a successful CXO I was asked to coach for a future top management role.
Over the years I've learnt not be surprised when most high performers respond in such a manner at the start of a coaching process. I recognise now that an important part of success in coaching comes from helping these high performers learn to help themselves. In the movie Jerry Maguire, Tom Cruise, a sports agent, makes a plea to his temperamental and only client Rod Tidwell, played by Cuba Gooding Jr to change his ways, play nicer with his team mates and forget about "show me the money" while on the football field. Ina scene, Maguire tells Tidwell, "Help me Help you." This should be said more often in the corporate world and especially by coaches.
Why agree for a coaching?
In the recent years, executive coaching has gained widespread acceptance in India and globally as a successful way to develop leaders. This helps you, as a leader, get the one on one support needed to help you win in roles that are complicated.
In the past, the selection of a coach was done through word of mouth and client selection was as important as coach selection. This essentially made the coaching process a decision where everyone elected had a commitment to getting results.
But now, if the upper management has asked you to get coaching it's not an act of volition and requires effort to build commitment for results. This means, a coach has to invest greater time and effort in building chemistry, credibility and clarity in the coaching process. The sponsor has to invest more time in clarity of goals, provide support and have periodic check-ins with the coach. In effect, the process evolves into a partnership.
How to get the most out of coaching?
Bust the superhero myth
Venus Williams is a force in women's professional tennis. A natural born winner if ever there was one. With her accomplishments and athleticism in an individual sport, it's easy to believe that her success is a story of individual accomplishment alone. One year, as I watched Venus Williams give her victory speech on TV after one of her many Wimbledon victories, I was struck by the number of people she thanked. They had contributed to her sustained success in the cut-throat world of professional tennis. As she recognised the members of her support team, I realised that even in an individual sport there are no superheroes. In short, "you can't do it alone."
As a leader you're going to need an entire ecosystem to make you successful: from a team that is rooting for you, to a boss who encourages you, to a coach who can challenge, keep you on track and be a sounding board. So, it's ok to get the help you need to be an even bigger success.
Why me?
It's easy to feel you're being singled out while the others in your organization are let off. Remember, you were picked because someone wants you to get better. You are a winner and others may be lost causes or non-starters in the coaching process. So appreciate the fact that you've been selected for a coaching process.
Working with a coach means you are in the limelight and both your successes and failures will be public, but that's what signing up for leadership is all about. People will be always observing you and taking cues on how you act on basis of that. You get to make this transition with a coach who is neutral and is there to help you win. There are only upsides to the coaching process, at the very least you figure out what you were doing was great, or you learn something better!
Advertising the gifts of imperfection
In organizations that don't have a culture of coaching high performers there is a lot of secrecy to the coaching process manifesting itself in various requests like, "Can we meet outside the office for our sessions?" and "Let's not tell his team that he is in a coaching process." However, what works is often the counter intuitive approach to this secrecy. What Marshall Goldsmith calls "advertising" the coaching process.
Marshall says, "Your odds improve considerably if you tell people you're trying to change, the odds improve again when you tell everyone how hard you are trying and repeat the message week after week". Your co-workers know that no one is perfect, so stop pretending to be one and stop alienating them. Talking about what you want to change is an important component of self-awareness and emotional intelligence is the hallmark of great leaders.
Choose your goals
Many have been sold the idea of coaching as a panacea for their mentoring and succession challenges. But most sponsors who've not worked with a coach don't really understand what they are getting themselves into. The honest but sometimes unpleasant chat that they need to have with you about what needs to change is often delegated to the coach armed with a diagnostic survey. This is the simple, "it's better if he hears it from a neutral party", approach. While I agree with that sentiment in part, the fact is that when the sponsor does not sit with the coach and you to set your goals, the odds of success drop dramatically.
Your odds of success in coaching improve when you choose the right goals. As leaders move up the organisation, people stop telling them what they really need to hear and start telling them what they want to hear. Figure out what you want to work on -- get the stakeholders involved and ask them for ideas. If you really want to get it right don't just stop at the 'what' to change -- get your stake holders to define how to change. Co-create your action plan with them. It won't be easy to get your teams to be candid in this process. This is where the coach can create the right environment, where the team can speak without fear of the messenger being shot down.
Acceptance
You can't change the past, but unless you let go of it, you can't move forward either. The feedback you've got is a perfect outcome of everything you had to go through to rise to this level in your career. You don't have to like the feedback; you just have to accept it. As eminent psychologist, Dr Nathaniel Branden said, "Suppose you feel you cannot accept some fact about yourself. Then own your refusal to accept. Own the block. Embrace it fully. And watch it begin to disappear. The principal is this: Begin where you are - accept that. Then change and growth become possible."
(The writer is managing consultant, at Korn Ferry Hay Group.)
