When the first Blackberry came out, they had me at hello. I could quickly respond to emails by typing on this Qwerty keyboard. But what I loved most about the device was the little red light that would start flashing when I had a message.
I’ve always taken pride in being responsive to whoever is trying to reach me, personally or in business. I have high standards for customer service, and that starts with me. I developed a reputation early on as someone that responded really quickly. This was all thanks to the red light.
I got so good at it that it wouldn’t matter when that light went off. I could be in a meeting, or on a phone conversation. I could be at dinner or wake up in the middle of the night. If the light went on, I was going to respond immediately. Even as the CEO of my growing company, I loved being known as the fastest responder in the business.
As the years went by, I gladly upgraded to each new version of the Blackberry. Sure, a couple of times I tried the iPhone, but I really missed that red light! But as Blackberry phased out of the phone business and
But my new phone didn’t have a red light. How would I survive? Little did I realize the addiction I had created. My sense of pride about responding quickly gave way to a feeling that I simply wasn’t paying attention. If I was in a meeting, I wasn’t listening closely enough to who was talking. When I was on a phone call, I wasn’t concentrating. When I was home with the family, I wasn’t always engaged in the conversation. When my wife surprised me with a party for my 55th birthday, the cake was in the shape of guess what? A giant Blackberry.
It was time to reset my priorities. I had to realize that being the fastest to respond wasn’t always a good thing. So I put some new rules in place. No phone at the dinner table. No responding to emails in the middle of the night. No looking at emails when I first wake up in the morning.
Nothing made me more aware of my lack of awareness than my recent introduction to meditation. I was always one of those that dismissed this practice and wouldn’t consider even trying it. Then one day at the urging of a couple of friends, I loaded up an app and gave it a try. I immediately felt a difference. I’m now nearly forty days into it and I haven’t missed a day. It has allowed me to be more present in everything I do, and to have more gratitude for all of those around me. I pay closer attention and quickly remind myself to do so when I get distracted. I now understand the meaning of mindfulness.
I even started going to yoga classes with my fourteen year old daughter. Yoga! Yeah, I’m the guy that is at the back of the class that the teacher has to make accommodations for because I can’t touch my toes, but the hour of quiet and stretching in the company of Jordan is pure joy.
I try not to beat myself up over this. My driven personality and search for purpose has led to many wonderful experiences, a successful career and I hope a positive impact on those people that I’ve touched. But I’m now discovering how much better life is when we pay attention.
There are many advantages to this connected world we now live in. We have immediate access to people and information and nothing feels better for those like me that like to move quickly and don’t have a lot of patience. But it does make sense for us to slow things down a little bit, to focus on the conversations we have, and to cherish all of the relationships in our lives.
Paul Spiegelman is the chief culture officer of
