The walking undead theme has been a big driving force behind many a pop cultural reference. While it’s highly unlikely zombies will jump out of screens and start roaming the land World War Z style, the US Army and several individuals have been preparing and selling zombie survival kits. With Pride, Prejudice and Zombies , hitting theatres, now is the best time as any to compile our very own fun kit.
Note: While the writer of this article does not have any prior experience in zombie attacks, he has voraciously devoured every known zombie movie/show/comic to date. In the case any of these don’t save you, take heart in the fact that you will still survive, albeit as a flesh-eating zombie.
Machete
Guns will eventually run out of bullets. If you’re stuck in a suburban area like Bandra, chances are you will not find any spare ammo, unless your neighbours are members of Chota Rajan’s gang. In which case, a zombie holocaust could be a good thing. Point is you need a machete, or a knife that looks like a machete, probably the ones that butchers use. You see, the best way to kill a zombie is to destroy the brain.
Sleeping Tent
After hours of fighting zombies you will need to kick back and relax, but sleeping out in the open could be disastrous. Sleeping in elevated zones can help, but what if there aren’t any? Pack one of those nifty backpack tents for one — or two if you’re lucky to have a companion. They’re extremely nifty for getting a good night’s rest. Plus, you’ll have a precious few minutes to escape, since the zombies will get tangled up in the tent material. Unless of course, they have evolved and can use zips; in which case you’ll be joining them. But hey, that means you can use zips too when you’re one.
Biker Body Armour
One bite and you had it, so you should keep some biker armour stocked up. You can get some simple rubber protection pads pretty cheap, or spend a little more for Kevlar, a material used for bullet-proof vests. While a biker jacket is enough, you may want to pony up for more money for the pants too. Don’t forget to wrap your ankles with thick cloth. Just in case a buried body just ups and takes a nip at your ankles.
Selfie Stick
Late for work because of the inconvenient timing of the zombie attack? Friends on Facebook and Instagram don’t believe you. Keep a selfie stick handy so you can take the widest angle possible for those selfies of you flashing a peace sign while being chased by a horde of zombies. Just make sure you keep that ‘autoshare to social network’ button on, in case they overtake you. For additional protection, you can strap a few knives to the sides of the selfie stick so you can use it as a weapon in a pinch. In case you become an undead creature, strap it to your shoulder and set it to video mode so the world can see your zombie selfies.
Power bank
With the complete breakdown of society, you may want to keep a few power banks handy for emergency texting, Facebook, or posting those selfies you just took.
Mi has a small 10400 mAh power bank for under Rs 1,000. Tuck away a few of them, and the moment you find a live socket or USB port, stick it in and let it charge. The USB can double as a light stand with a USB light too.
Essentials
Make sure you have lighters and matches close by. They’ll be helpful to convert empty bottles into deadly Molotov cocktails. Not to mention you can light a bonfire.
Get your hands on a large water bottle or a water purifier. Also, a compass, in case your GPS app stops working. And high-powered binoculars to scout out areas from safe vantage points.
You will also need rope and duct tape, and perhaps a chain, to lock down doors or create traps.
In case the zombies are like those from The Walking Dead TV show, don’t get your clothes dirty with all the undead entrails you’ll inevitably spill. Instead, use a handy tarp as a poncho, so you can cover yourself safely and shamble to freedom amongst the zombie hordes themselves.
The author is a freelance writer
