I’ve always been a total book addict. I’m addicted to the emotions, excitement, touch, feel and smell of books. If I could live on books and nothing else, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
So yes: I’m a bit of an addict. Hi, my name is Megan and I’m a bookaholic. If you have any of these fifteen warning signs, you’re a bookaholic too. But don’t worry about kicking the habit. Books are awesome.
1. Over 90% of any wishlist (birthday, Christmas, shopping list) are books. Who needs food and clothes anyway? And if you ever go into a bookshop or library, you leave with at least five books more than you planned on buying. Oops…
2. Your friends or family chat about TV or film adaptions of books and all you can say is: “Please. The book was a million times better. I mean, the film didn’t even mention this, they changed that, they didn’t have this quote, they…” Double points if aforementioned friends and family roll their eyes and say “Typical insert-your-name-here”.
3. Everyone else you know has pictures of the latest band, movie or animal on their wall, but your walls are covered in bookshelves, book posters and book postcards.
4. Speaking of your room, you have so many books in your bedroom that they’ve spread of off the bookshelves onto floors, desks, chest of drawers and beds. But really, who needs to see their silly old floors anyway?
5. Most kids went as pop stars, footballers, doctors, nurses and superheroes to dress-up-as-what-you-want-to-be-when-you-grow-up day, but you went in wearing normal clothes with a notebook tucked under your arm. You also gave scathing looks to anyone who asked “What are you meant to be?” Because, obviously, you were an author.
6. Some of your best friends aren’t ‘real’ – as non-book-addicts put it. They’re characters from your favourite books. Your heroes also aren’t pop stars, movie stars or humanitarians. They’re authors. You look up to authors as godlike creatures who hold your favourite characters’ fates in their hands.
7. You have been mentally scarred by books (Harry Potter, The Fault In Our Stars, War Horse…). But despite this they make you happier than anything else. Until you finish them. Then it feels like your heart has broken and the hole in your soul will never be healed. Until you find your new favourite book…
8. You are the go-to-person for book recommendations. Everyone knows you read more than a normal mortal and that, generally, you always have a suggestion. Book addicts are awesome like that!
9. You can bring any topic back around to your fave book. For example: “Ah, the dangers of cyber-crimes. We’d really be so much safer if we all bank at Gringotts, where of money would be looked after by goblins and dragons. It’s really only logical. In Harry Potter...” “Oh, your boyfriend’s name is Eddie? He’s brilliant in Vampire Academy: I really love him. Have you read that yet? It’s so...” And so on and so on.
You also have a bookish quote for all situations. Wishing someone good luck: “May the odds be ever in your favour.” When someone says something about reality: “Of course it’s happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?” A dramatic, heart-breaking, beautiful love story: Snape’s “Always” and TFIOS’s “Okay? Okay.” I could go on – trust me... All your advice comes from books too – you just direct people to your favourite book on the topic!
10. You don’t have normal dreams: you dream about worlds you’ve visited in books, characters you met in books and adventures you’ve had in books. Basically, you’re all books, all the time. You even daydream about books.
11. You’d do anything (eat a poisoned apple, spin gold from hay) if you could live in your favourite bookish world – even just for a day.
12. When you grow up and have children (or pets), you plan to name all of them after your favourite characters from books. Poor Hermione, Augustus, Luna, Magnus and Sherlock…
13. You’d happily give up the real world (and food) if you could just live in books all the time. Actually, if you’re reading an awesome book, you do ignore the real world – you forget about water, sleep, homework and other people. People have to say your name five times to even get your attention and you end up sleep deprived because you stayed up super late to finish the book. But you don’t care because that book… it was so worth it!
14. When you’re trying to do revision for exams, you settle on this little reward system: for every two chapters of the revision book you read, you can read a chapter of the fiction book you’re currently reading. I mean, what better reward is there than a chapter of an awesome book? (Your friends say the answer is biscuits, YouTube or sleep. You agree to disagree.)
15. If you were freezing to death and had to put something on the fire to keep it burning, you’d burn your own clothes, pencils, shoes, food and even your own hair before you’d throw your books on. Who cares if you survive, so long as your pretties are ok?