We’re big fans of the site The Infatuation, and particularly big fans of their feature “Welp…” where they comb through one of the most insufferable realms of self-entitlement and terrible opinions on the Internet – Yelp reviews. Our friend Cory Bonfiglio of Beer Street in Williamsburg came across this gem of a Yelp review of their newly-relaunched bar:
I know. Can you believe there’s such a thing as “gourmet beer” and they charge more money for it than “normal beer?” Give me break.
Here are some more of our favorite oblivious reviews of craft beer bars…
Try Harder, Bierkraft
Take this guy, who was offended that there’s more than one type of “dark beer” at Bierkraft:
Yeah, Bierkraft. Try harder to make the beer that you don’t make taste better!
Show Some Respect, Dirck the Norseman
This guy seems utterly confused when he stumbled upon Oktoberfest Weekend at Dirck the Norseman:
It’s late September when you wrote this review, Bill, so I’m gonna guess you stepped into Dirck that weekend. You didn’t notice all the German decoration and music and lederhosen and think, “it’s Oktoberfest!?” Guess not. Hey guys, did you know Dirck the Norseman’s beer selection is limited to Eastern Europe? Those Bulgarian and Ukrainian beers they serve sure are delicious! Also, did you know the BREWERY IN THE BACK OF THE ROOM is apparently on another continent? Amazing that you can see it from so far away!
It IS a Horrible Beer
Hey, don’t go to Mission Dolores if you like Guinness:
…but you’ll love the place if you like “trendy bad tasting beers.”
I Don’t Want to Pay For This Bottle I Drank From
And don’t go to Ginger Man if you’re the type who blindly orders a bottle of a beer you’ve never had before:
Seriously, what did you think was going to happen to that bottle of beer you drank out of and didn’t like, Jordan? Were they supposed to sell the rest of it to someone else?
Tørst’s Beers Aren’t Worth a Damn
One of the most common refrains from bad Yelp reviews of craft beer bars are the indignant patrons who seemingly can’t grasp that craft beer bars specialize in… craft beer. Take Geoff, for instance:
You’re right, Geoff. Damn Tørst for not serving Yuengling! Taken at face value, your assessment that “I don’t need to spend $11 to find out I hate something” is correct – but rather than walking out, you could, you know, ask the bartender if you can taste a beer first. You might even like it more than Yuengling.
Barcade Can’t Win
You’ve gotta feel bad for Barcade, who did absolutely nothing wrong in this one-star review other than inspire another bar to open:
One problem with that, Athena: Barcade opened six years before Blipsy.