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"No one is talking about the effect of the parent’s illness on their relationship with the child. That’s what we’re interested in,” says Alan Cooklin, founder and CEO of the Kidstime Foundation
“No one is talking about the effect of the parent’s illness on their relationship with the child. That’s what we’re interested in,” says Alan Cooklin, founder and CEO of the Kidstime Foundation Photograph: Stephen Voss / Alamy/Alamy
“No one is talking about the effect of the parent’s illness on their relationship with the child. That’s what we’re interested in,” says Alan Cooklin, founder and CEO of the Kidstime Foundation Photograph: Stephen Voss / Alamy/Alamy

Living with mental illness is tough for an adult. But what about their child?

This article is more than 9 years old

They can’t cure the parent’s condition, but the Kidstime Foundation – one of our Christmas appeal charities – can help a child understand, says Alastair Campbell

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It is hard enough for an adult who is struggling to manage depression, cope with anxiety or OCD, face down an addiction to drugs or alcohol, or deal with the realities of a life-changing mental health condition like schizophrenia.

So ask yourself how life is for many of the children of those people. There are lots of them – and as a society we do not think enough about their needs. The Kidstime Foundation – one of the charities supported by the Guardian and Observer Christmas appeal – fill some of the gaps.

Mental ill health does not only affect the patient but their family, friends, colleagues and wider circle. The children are likely to be both the most vulnerable and the ones who feel they ought to be able to make the situation better. That in itself is a challenge that may require expert support.

As someone who has known mental illness, and now campaigns for better services and understanding for the mentally ill, I welcome and support The Kidstime Foundation. Their mission is to create a supportive environment for these young people, which allows them to be identified, understood and given help and understanding when they need it.

Sometimes children are born into a family where one or both parents has a mental health problem; for others the illness strikes as they are growing up. The labels matter. The words matter. The reality of stigma and taboo developed over centuries can add to the pain and confusion.

Kidstime cannot cure the condition of the parent – but they can help the understanding of the child. It works to ensure that they receive an explanation for their parent’s condition, its causes and treatment, and how better to manage their role at home and in school. These interventions build resilience, reduce children’s risk of developing mental health conditions themselves and improves their life outcomes. The more children understand, the better they will cope, and the more they can help the parent facing ill health.

The Kidstime Foundation works directly with children affected by parental mental illness and provides resources and training to professionals working with children to help them identify and support them. They also lobby for proper recognition of children affected by parental mental illness and work with peers and parents to build understanding, and to counteract stigma.

The “Who Cares?” project – for which they are currently fundraising – will work with affected and unaffected children and their teachers to increase understanding of mental ill health and its impact on children, in order to build a supportive environment at school. This project can help children both learn about and make sense of their parent’s illness, increase their resilience and make them less vulnerable to future mental ill health.

Mental illness is a great cause of our time and an issue whose time has come. Kidstime plays a major role in making sure children growing up in homes affected by mental illness are cared for and their needs understood. They deserve huge support for what they do – because we cannot claim to be a truly civilised society when understanding of mental illness is so poor, and the consequences for children so neglected.

  • Alastair Campbell is a writer, former government press secretary and a patron of the Kidstime Foundation, one of the charities supported by this year’s Guardian and Observer Christmas appeal.

More on this story

More on this story

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  • It’s good to talk: breaking down the barriers of mental illness

  • Elefriends: the social network for the mental health community

  • Trigger point: Christmas and new year with PTSD – video

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