A drink problem

By B.R.

“AN ALCOHOLIC,” Dylan Thomas said, “is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.” I was reminded of this quote when reading of a resolution to tackle unruly behaviour on planes at the general meeting of IATA, an airline association, this week.

There were 28,000 incidents of unruly behaviour in the skies between 2007 and 2013, according to IATA. That is a tiny proportion of the flying population. But as anyone who has been stuck on a flight with a rowdy passenger can testify, it is always a stressful and upsetting experience. Tony Tyler, IATA’s boss, says that alcohol consumed before boarding the plane is one of the main reasons for obnoxious flyers.

Hence the Dylan Thomas quote. Gulliver takes his fair share of budget flights from the UK to the continent. I am often embarrassed by the drunken state my fellow Brits can get themselves into before boarding a plane. So I can get pretty snooty at the sight of holidaymakers boozing in airport bars, often before breakfast. Which makes me a hypocrite. Because an airport is also one of the few places I allow myself a snifter before midday (others are weddings, funerals, Christmas and Test matches, for the record).

Of course, it is all about moderation and context. A bloody mary in the departure lounge and you can consider yourself a sophisticate; four pints of lager and you are a lout.

The answer is for airlines to be a bit more stringent at the gate. IATA’s guidance on the matter suggests taking a traffic-light approach. Being sociable and relaxed is a green light; talking or laughing loudly, being overly friendly or a bit sweary is considered yellow-light behaviour; falling over and spilling drinks comes into the red category. Once passengers hit red it is suggested that airlines think about stopping them boarding or, at the very least, refusing to serve them more booze once airborne.

Probably carriers could be a bit less tolerant of those in the yellow category. Being loud and drunk might not make you a danger to the flight, but it sure annoys your fellow passengers who, lest we forget, do not have the option of simply moving to another seat as they might on a train or in a pub.

Drinking too much, you might imagine, is not something that the refined readers of Gulliver would have to take into consideration. Don't be so sure. The most-read story in the history of this blog was from 2012 advising travellers how to smuggle more booze though security. It still gets hundreds of hits a week. That must say something.