Unsocial Social Media

Several weeks ago, I discovered that I wasn’t connected on LinkedIn with someone I’d known for many years. So, I sent him a Request to Connect. He accepted, but here’s his reply:

“Thanks for connecting with me. I hope to get to know you better. Here’s what my company does…blah, blah, blah.”

I was surprised at his response, as we’d worked together on several projects, we attended the same networking events and even had lunch several times.

Now, maybe I’m just not that memorable, but as I didn’t quite think that was the case, I contacted him. Turns out that when he gets a Request to Connect, he doesn’t ever read it. He doesn’t look to see who it is from and he never goes to their Profile to read more about them. He simply accepts, then pastes in a response that he uses for anyone who wants to connect.

Wow.

I told him that I had been a bit offended at his “canned” response and he was surprised. He thought that “any response” was a good one.

I’ve had this happen more times than I can count, and every time, I’m a bit put off by it. I’d rather receive no response at all than to receive one where I know it was sent without any thought.

Anyone who spends much time on Twitter has probably received numerous “automated” responses when they’ve followed someone:

“Thank you for the Follow. I have followed you back. I’m also on Facebook – http://facebook.com/xxx. Let’s connect there.”

Really makes you feel warm and fuzzy…and loved…right?

I understand the rationale. You want to acknowledge – and thank – new connections, but when I know that I’ve received the same exact message that someone sends to hundreds, or even thousands, of people, it doesn’t make me feel welcomed at all. In fact, I don’t even read those messages on Twitter and they annoy me on LinkedIn.

I also understand that sending automated responses, or pasting them in a reply, is a way to save time. But, in the long run, is it worth it if you annoy someone – especially a business connection?

I’m also a firm believer that if I communicate with a person I’m connected to, I want that person to respond. More than once, I’ve received a response that I know was actually sent by someone’s assistant. Again, I know it’s a time-saver, but take the 15 seconds to send me a quick note telling me your assistant will be replying, rather than having him or her pretend to be you.

Social media is all about building relationships and you do that by being authentic. When a communication seems canned, it makes us feel like the person couldn’t be bothered to communicate with us. And, do we really want to work with someone who treats us like that? Probably not.

Maybe I’m being overly sensitive about this, so I’d love to hear your thoughts. Is no response better than a generic one? Please comment below!

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I'm passionate about helping professionals learn how to use social media - especially LinkedIn - to promote themselves and their businesses. Visit my Profile and feel free to send me a Request to Connect on LinkedIn. Click here to learn more about my LockedOn to LinkedIn programs and seminars, including self-paced online video training.